My heart is aching and I'm miserable. Combination of sorrow and regret, bad memories, hard decisions, strained relationships, trouble sleeping at night, drowsy during the day. Death and disease in loved ones is all I've heard about for a week solid.
I've been a yo-yo about taking a job. My dear friend Kathy is at her 90-year-old mom's bedside in ICU. Sarah's co-worker's mom overdosed Sunday on pain meds and hasn't come out of a coma since. My husband's co-worker has been diagnosed with leukemia. The kids I carpool lost their grandmother yesterday. I lack motivation to homeschool. The pastor and his wife whom I've felt closest to for a long time are moving out of state. Needing surgery to repair that which has been severely damaged for five years. Not enjoying my home like I used to. Distracted in my quiet times. Longing for the simple pleasures I once enjoyed. Extremely irritable.
Needing prayer, needing to confess sin, needing to repent, needing sleep, needing relief from sorrow, healing from old wounds, wisdom for decisions, comfort for sadness. Needing hope. Needing Someone who is All That and More. The Great I AM. My Everything all the Time.
This week in Bible study, Kay Arthur in her video on "Lord, Heal my Hurts," drove one point home:
Run to God, Jehovah-rapha, the one Who heals you.
My tendency is to run to the "arm of flesh"--that is, to people and things that will put a Bandaid on my spiritual cancer. Things like food, medicine, TV, computer, books, hobbies, even sisters in Christ. How often I cry out to my friends first for help. They can't heal me; they can only point me to the One who can.
Please pray I run to Him first and fast. I may be in a trench, but I know how to get out: Run fast up the side toward Jehovah-rapha.
"It is a strong temptation to run to the phone when we need advice or help of any kind, forgetting to seek FIRST the living Word of God, whose ear is always open to our cry. Try the simple reminder of 2 Peter 2:9, 'The Lord knows how to rescue godly men from trials,' or Ps. 57:1, 'Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me, for in you my soul takes refuge. I will take refuge in teh shadow of your wings until disaster has passed.'. . . Let your loneliness be transformed into a holy aloneness. Sit still before the Lord."
ReplyDeleteI read these words recently from "Secure in the Everlasting Arms" by E. Elliot and thought I'd pass them on.
Where is God's peace? It's still there, I pray you know it and it covers your mind and heart.
ReplyDeleteJesus promised peace, His peace, and I can testify it is real. So, I pray you rest in it.
Love, Betty G
I hear you my friend...
ReplyDeleteMark Altrogge and his son Stephen have the following song on the latest SGM CD. Mark's daughter Beth pointed this song out to me recently and it has helped me. This song is dedicated to her... She is someone who has "been there" even at a young age... May it encourage you.
Whatever my God ordains is right
In His love I am abiding
I will be still in all He does
And follow where He is guiding
He is my God, though dark my road
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all
Whatever my God ordains is right
He never will deceive me
He leads me by the proper path
I know He will not leave me
I take content, what He has sent
His hand can turn my griefs away
And patiently I wait His day
Whatever my God ordains is right
Here shall my stand be taken
Though sorrow, or need, or death be mine
Yet I am not forsaken
My Father’s care circles me there
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all
Whatever my God ordains is right
Though now this cup in drinking
Bitter it seems to my faint heart
I take it all unshrinking
My God is true, each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart
And pain and sorrow shall depart
Original words by Samuel Rodigast, 1676
Translated by Catherine Winkworth, 1863
Alternate words by Mark Altrogge
I will be praying for you Zoanna! Thanks for being so real and genuine.
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