Monday, October 08, 2007

Parting Company in Many Ways


It's been a terrible time for me emotionally lately. Suffice it to say I am dealing with death and loss on several fronts.









  • One friend's mom died Wednesday, another Saturday. Viewings and funerals, florists and food prep, have dotted my calendar and made me ponder again the vaporous quality of life.




  • I had a breakdown yesterday between grief, fatigue, my own very ugly and constant sin and grave sense of failure, and fighting with my family two hours before we were supposed to have friends over last night, one local and one from NC who's been visiting Sacha. (Kristin went on the missions trip with us.) I ended up cancelling with Sacha and Kristin, even with my table set and some Russian nesting dolls lined up as a reminiscent centerpiece. The family was feuding so much I asked Ben's football friends to leave.




  • I will be trying to break free from computer bondage and die to myself that way. Not sure how long it'll take, but I will take a blogging break at the very least; have to keep email up-- it's the only way some people communicate. I'll be taking more initiative to reestablish good communication with my family.




  • Death to old habits in other areas that need new life: my physical body, my house, my prayer time, my lifelong goals.




That's what's going on here in a nutshell. (I am the nut; the house is my shell. Both need prayer!)





So, if I don't comment on your blog for awhile, it's because God is winning here. As Dave Harvey said yesterday from the pulpit, "This is Only a Test." The design is wonderful, but the process is hot, stinky, and painful.





Farewell for a while, friends.





5 comments:

Anonymous said...

praying for you. You'll get through this just fine, I'm sure of it.

:-)

Vicki said...

Zo I will keep you in my prayers. Please know I will be praying. My heart aches for you and your grief. I am so sorry. Please know you are not alone.

Love you sister....

Anonymous said...

Praying for you.
One thing to remember. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
I pray He gives you guidance and peace.
Blessings.
Betty G

Anonymous said...

Oh, Zo, I have not checked your blog in a few weeks, but I felt a strong urge to do so today.... and the grief is palpable. My heart aches for you, but I do know that the Lord will lead you through this, and bring you out more passionate than ever. Your heart may be broken, but your soul is not. You will march onward with your face turned toward the One who can (and WILL) heal your every woe. God bless you.
Heather (in Monkton)

Bethany said...

I've been on a break but I am praying for you. You have been such an encouragement during my trials. I know we don't know each other in REAL life but I can honestly say I love ya and I am praying for you too. BIG HUGS. Enjoy being unplugged.