Simple Woman's Daybook 1.27.12

Needing inspiration today, I'm using a favorite slice-of-life meme from a blog called The Simple Woman's Daybook.

Outside my window...
It's rainy and grey, or is that grainy and rey? My head is as foggy as the mist that hovers over the earth this morning.

I am thinking...
about all the things I want to improve-- internally, externally, maternally, you name it. If it's got a "nally" at the end of it, I probably want to change it.

I am thankful for...
the commitment that my husband and I have to each other, and for God's sustaining grace in our marriage. I am proud of my man, and feel secure in his love, even when the hot water heater of life isn't working. By that I mean, on some days the marriage feels like a cold shower on a winter morning--you're tempted to jump out before the job is done. But on most days, marriage is like a warm bath--soothing and healing to the mind, body, and soul. Either way, you're naked and need a good cleansing to be the best person you can be for another person.

From the kitchen...

the pantry screams, "Reorganize me!"

I am wearing...

a pink Myrtle Beach hoodie and burgundy sweatpants. Pink is not my color at all, and I actually had to buy a pink accessory to wear to my future DIL's bridal shower. The invitation said, "Wear pink, black, or a combination of both." So I found a hot pink boa at a thrift shop for $3.99 and paired it with black and white I had. Pink is really not my color, but a warm pink hoodie on a cold January day is better than any alternative available this morning.

I am creating...

perhaps a small quilt in the near future. My husband thought of me yesterday when he heard about a quilting club that makes quilts for needy babies. At least I think that's what he said; I was half asleep, but smiled at his thoughtfulness. I told him I've only made three quilts in my life and that I'd feel nervous joining a quilting club with my elementary skills. But making quilts for needy babies is certainly motivational.

I am going...
to yank the air freshener out of the wall plug. Too much of a good thing is giving me a headache!

I am reading...

The Water Giver, by Joan Ryan

Best book I've read in a long time, it's the true story written by a mother whose 16-year-old special-needs son suffered a traumatic brain injury while riding a skateboard without a helmet. Up until the accident, she had never really felt like a nurturing mom, but one who was preoccupied with "fixing" her child by shuttling him from one therapist to another, reading one book after another to try to change him into a "normal" son, rather than just being the mother he needed. It took nearly losing him for her to accept and love him the way he was.

The book is written by a journalist, so I appreciate the factual medical lingo she includes, as well as her emotional tone. A couple of times she drops the "f" bomb, so I wouldn't give it a 5-star rating for language.


I am hoping...

for a good blizzard soon.

I am hearing...

the whirring of the mini-heater's fan blowing inside and the cling-clang of the wind chimes on the deck, and the pitter-patter of not-so-little dog feet hopping around the tennis ball that Reilly Pup is entertaining himself with.

Around the house...

I see nothing but projects and repairs calling out to me and Mr. Fix-it. A kitchen makeover, a master bathroom makeover, a broken table leg, drawers in disarray, the Youngest's bedroom to be converted to a Baltimore Ravens nest. The second son moved lickety-split into the vacated older brother's room when he moved out, and it is already painted, thanks to him and his girlfriend. Best part: it cost nothing. He was content to use a calm, handsome (like him) blue paint we already had, and I can't for the life of me recall where we used it. That blue exists nowhere in the house. Stranger things have happened.


















I asked Ambrey to stand there like a model doing a paint product photo shoot. Isn't she cute?
























One of my favorite things...

is finding a handwritten note in my mailbox, either at home or at school. Yesterday I got a thank-you note at school from parents who pick a different teacher each week to pray for. They go a step further and write a note, which the secretary delivers to our boxes. I must've read that thing three times in one hour. Such encouragement on a day I was pondering bad news and big, unexpected expenses.

A few plans for the rest of the week...

The rest of the week? Since today is Friday, that's a short list for a change. Tonight I am going out for Chinese with my former co-teacher and friend, just to catch up on life. She's an excellent listener and an engaging talker. A good conversationalist. The funniest part is predictable when it comes time for us to pay for our meal. I take the check, try to figure who owes what, hand it to her for verification, and then she quotes a line from a movie: "It was my understanding there would be no math."

Tomorrow is a "free Saturday," which means there are no outside obligations on the calendar. But make no mistake, there is no such thing as a free lunch or a free Saturday. Hubby will find plenty of work for us all to do around here.

A picture thought I am sharing...
After the bridal shower, we went for Dee's dress fitting. My daughter started looking around and called me over to check this one out. She called it her dream dress. Well, she couldn't keep a straight face and she was snorting, so I knew it was gonna be ugly. Well, not ugly, just outdated and straight-laced, no pun intended. "Modest is hottest," she said, doubling over laughing, and then snapped a picture of me (in aforementioned pink boa) giving the dress the "oh yeah, baby, what a beaut" look.

A Pre-Wedding Septet

Originally intending this to be a Thursday Thirteen post, I decided to cut off my racing thoughts at seven items. You're welcome. Our son's upcoming wedding is front-and-center on my mind these days.

1. I meant to include this photo in my post about his fiancee's bridal shower. To the guests he was publicly addressing, Ben said, "It's always been my dream that the first woman I kiss would be my wife-to-be. Dee is the first." But then--how romantic is this?--he bent down, kissed her, and whispered to her, "and the last."

2. Our photographer has had to excuse himself from doing the wedding because of a serious medical problem. We feel so bad for him, and pray for his complete healing. At the same time, we need to find a new photographer. The wedding is just over 40 days away. I'm sure God will provide a replacement, for He's had this planned all along, right?

3. I am looking forward to the rehearsal dinner. The food at this place is amazing, yet the atmosphere is casual. Originally I wanted a fancier restaurant (since the groom's family traditionally hosts it) but after eating there and knowing the likes and personalities of the wedding party and their families, a casual atmosphere will be just right. We will have half the place reserved for us, but it's not closed off. At first I was reluctant about the lack of privacy, but the more I think about it, the more I like the fact that the general public can observe the fun and love in the group.

4. I found my dress, shoes, and purse all for under $50. I kid you not. Found the floor length deep purple dress at a local consignment shop for $21. Is that okay to broadcast? Well, I am doing just that , because it's an answer to prayer. I asked God to help me find a purple dress for $25 or less. (After seeing "sale" prices at wedding shops for mother-of-the groom dresses, my jaw dropped. No way on God's green earth am I going to drop $300-500 on a dress for myself!) I am just so tickled at my find last week. Twenty-one bucks for a floor length velvet dress with jacket! Does God love to bless or what, people?? As for the shoes, they're higher heels than I normally wear, but I think I can walk comfortably in them down the aisle (and I hope down the grand staircase) without falling. The little gold purse matches the shoes, so I'm thrilled. All that's left to find is the bling!

5. What to do with my hair on wedding day? I can't afford to bring my hairdresser along, but she's the only one who can make it do what I want it to do. Or rather, she's got the patience to give it the right mix of straight and wavy and product. Oh yes, much product to get this hair of mine to behave. Guess I should start practicing patience. Who has 45 minutes a day to straighten curly hair but not flatten the life out of it at the same time?

6. Yesterday I found a bunch of cleaning supplies on clearance, so texted Ben to ask if he needed Windex, Pine-Sol, Febreze, a bucket, or carpet freshener. He texted back, "I could use a broom and mop." Wha? Did I offer those? I was at the grocery store. I texted back, "Sorry, you're on your own for those." Then I felt a twinge of mother-guilt, coupled with the thought, "He needs to learn that part of living on his own is buying the necessities like brooms and mops." I wrote, "You don't need any of these other things?" He replied, "Nope."

Well, the good news is, at least he has those supplies, right? He likes to keep things clean, but I can't remember the last time he swept or mopped when he was living at home. I'm sure I taught him. Think back, Zo.Think back reaaaaalllly far.

7. Wow, you would think from reading this that my son's wedding is all about ME! You mean, it's not? The real kicker is that it's not even really about the bride and groom. It's about God and His decision to unite two hearts and two families simultaneously. Somehow we like to complicate what seems very simple in the mystery of it all.

Hodgepodge: Giants , Jesus, and Juggernauts

What time is it? It's Hodgepodge time! Let's kick off with a question about patriots (with a lowercase p). Thanks to Joyce for coming up with these virtual conversation starters week after week. Somehow I think that if we ever meet, we will feel as if we already know each other--and still have plenty to talk about.


1. The NFL playoffs were held this past weekend and this year's Superbowl lineup will feature The New York Giants versus The New England Patriots. How do you define 'patriot'?

First off, as a loyal Ravens fan, the mention of the playoffs right now is a sore subject. For the uninformed reader, we lost on Sunday to the Patriots by a field goal. That's three stinkin' points. The kicker, at an easy 32 yards, missed it! Missed it baaaad! I'm talking a kick that landed somewhere in Nova Scotia. Half of us yelled, "Nooooooooooooooo!" and the other half were silenced by unbelief. For a city that bleeds purple, it was a crushing defeat. Our youngest child cried. Literally, he curled up in fetal position and cried. Yes, he tends to be dramatic, but like the rest of Baltimore, we were absolutely heartsick about missing our chance at the Superbowl.

But football aside, I would define a patriot as a person who has a strong allegiance to his native country.

2. What's something in your life right now that feels like a 'giant'?

We just got some bad news about an extended family member's health. I will share more when I'm able. It comes as a gigantic shock.

3. What's the first thing that comes to mind when you think back to being 18?

Misery. I was far from home, by choice, and I had wandered from the Lord, also by a series of bad choices. What I dreamed freedom of choice being like was an illusion. A painful, life-changing illusion.

4. Coconut-mashed potatoes-vanilla ice cream-mayonnaise...which white food would be the hardest to give up?

Mashed potatoes, no contest. Well, okay, vanilla ice cream would be a formidable contestant, but since I fix mashed potatoes much more often, I'd miss them much more often.

5. Describe an incident or a day you remember as the coldest you've ever experienced.

That's easy. And it wasn't winter. It was in early June of 2000. My friend Barb was visiting from Kansas, and had never seen the Atlantic Ocean. She wanted to stick her toes in it, at least, and maybe swim. The two of us went to Rehoboth Beach with my three older kids who were 12, 11, and 9. Ben was grounded for the first 15 minutes on the blanket for misbehavior, but the younger ones ventured into the tide. They were good swimmers with respect for the water, and obedient. The air was a bit cool for my likes, so I knew the water was too cold for me. The kids, however, seemed to be enjoying jumping up and down in the surf.

As they drifted farther out, I waved them to come in. Then I hollered at them to come in. Still they went out farther. I knew they weren't deliberately out that far, that they were trying to come back, but were being pulled out. Fearing for their safety, I ran out toward them, and then swam with all my might. Adrenaline propelled me. I got hold of Stephen's skinny little waist, but Sarah was beyond where I could reach or even touch the bottom.

The water was so cold I could hardly breathe. Every time a wave rolled toward us, I hoisted Stephen as high up out of the water as I could and said, "Hold on, baby!" and held my breath underwater. Jesus was underwater with me, as I prayed, "Please don't let me die in front of my children! Please save us all!"

Barb had yelled to a lifeguard, "I think they're in trouble!" and in a flash of red boogieboard and shorts, he darted into the water toward us. He got to us just in time for me to say, "Please help my dau--!" and then, just as if we'd been lifted onto a raft, a gentle wave took Stephen and me in to shore. The lifeguard rescued Sarah and soon were were reunited on the sand, shivering and shaking from much more than the temperature. I have never felt so close to death, and the worst of it was not the thought of my own death, but the possibility of losing any of my children. The second worst part was wondering if they were about to witness their mother's drowning.

That episode has kept me from truly enjoying the ocean the way I once did.

6. You're hosting a brunch...what's your favorite dish to prepare and serve?

I love to serve brunch. When the kids were little, we often had fancy brunches, complete with printed menus. We'd host invite special guests--grandparents, aunts, elderly neighbors, friends from church. The kids would dress up and be waiters and waitress while Paul cooked and I managed the staff. The kids' favorite part was finding a $3 tip for each of them, left by impressed and generous grandparents.

But you didn't ask about brunch memories. Sorry. I tend to wax nostalgic these days. My favorite dish to prepare is a sausage or bacon casserole. I can assemble it the night before and pop it in the oven 45 minutes before service time. It sticks to the ribs and I can sit and enjoy my guests in simple style.

7. How do you combat negative thinking?

With a trifecta of antidotes: prayer, scripture, and a prescription pill. Every day I need all three to keep me from spiraling slowly downward in my thoughts, which leads to a downward spiral of feelings. I used to believe that all I needed was more faith or more love. But then many people much wiser than I, and more compassionate than others, helped me see that my brain is an organ that sometimes needs help just as the heart or skin or pancreas or thyroid sometimes need help.

And yes, I do need more faith and more love, but that would be the case whether or not I struggle with occasional bouts of depression. I think it's heartless, naive, and utterly damaging to tell people that all they need is more faith.

8. Insert your own random thought here.

On the way to my future daughter-in-law's bridal shower on Saturday, we (my daughter, my second son's girlfriend, and I) had to pull off into a rest area for bladder relief. This rest area was not just a dog-leg off the highway; it was strangely way off the beaten path, and invisible from the road.

In the snow and fog, it was kind of creepy, abandoned, with only one junky ole tan truck was parked there. As we approached, I said to the girls, "Well, it looks likes it's just us and a serial killer. He preys on women between the ages of 20 and 46, who are wearing pink and black."

Just then a small car filled with two young men and an elderly woman parked beside us. I said, "And there are the witnesses."

At that moment, I didn't really care. I was thinking, "When it's your time to go, it just might be at the time you're "going"!