Inklings, Lesson 2: You Got Syle?

Since a couple of you asked that I pass some Inklings class notes on to you via my blog, I'll share yesterday's lesson. (Thanks, by the way. I'm honored.)

Have you got style in your writing? A working definition of style is "how you say what you say." To improve style, we discussed three areas apropos to the students.

1. Use strong verbs.
2. Show, don't tell.
3. Replace cliches and jargon with original wording.


Regarding numero uno: Sometimes you can't help but use a state-of-being verb (is, are, was, were), but if you can, substitute an action verb. He was a maniac and put the pedal to the metal. Not only have we used a state-of-being verb, we've also used a cliche. Ack! Let's attack the first one first. Instead of using the ole' boring "was" to tell us Tom's crazy road behavior, try some action verbs to engage your reader. Tom used his knees to steer his Chevy on the interstate, swerving in and out of lanes at 85 miles an hour, simultaneously texting his girlfriend and swigging a Slurpie.

FYI: Friends don't let friends drive Chevies.

For the second point on showing vs. telling: That night she acted nervously when she heard someone walking behind her, and went faster to her car in the parking garage. Ir's an okay sentence, somewhat scary, but forgettable. Conversely, details make a difference. Ann heard heavy, steady footsteps behind her in the dark parking garage. She clutched her purse to her chest, bit her lip, and reached for her cell phone.

(Not that Ann is wise in choosing to be in a dark parking garage in the first place, but at least we can see the action in our mind's eye better than we could in the first example.)

Finally, addressing the only thing I hate worse than misused apostrophes: cliches and jargon. Why use phrases that are as moldy as last month's bagels when you can treat your reader to ones fresh from your linguistic oven? For my lovely Inklings, their jargon is filled with Christian cliches. We each made a list of seven examples of Christian jargon in one column, and rewrote them with our own original words in another column. The results? Scrumptious.

Inklings

C.S. Lewis is one of my favorite writers. In a biography I was reading lately, it mentions a group of fellow writers and thinkers in England who met regularly at the pub to discuss their writing.
They called themselves the Inklings.

I suggested the name to my little class of homeschooled high school writers who come to my home every Thursday. They latched onto it with alacrity. The two main differences between us and Lewis's cronies? We don't smoke cigars and we don't care about British royalty. (At least I don't.)

I just love the clever triple meaning "inklings."

1) youngins with a shared penchant for pens
2) followers of Mother Ink (me)
3) ponderings, thoughts, feelings, hunches

I love my Inklings, Maggie and Becca. They are eager to be better writers. They welcome constructive criticism (and don't cry at the sight of ink spilled like blood on the page). They are insightful, opinionated, funny, and diligent. A teacher's dream class, I'd say. I love that I can give them six or ten things to work on in one week. This week, for example:

-Avoid cliches.
-Eliminate run-on sentences. Separate complete but similar thoughts with punctuation; that's why it was invented.
-Omit "very" before adjectives (lazy; use strong adj instead).
-Organize your writing before you start. Good writing follows good thinking.
-Don't use "this" as an pronoun. (This is bad.) Make "this" an adjective: This habit is better than that.
- Be concise.
-Vary sentence structure. Don't always start with a prep phrase, a subject, or a gerund.
- Use special punctuation sparingly. Most sentences need only a period. Exclamation points are overused and therefore lack emphasis. It's okay to say, "Fire!" but not, "The building was on fire!"
-Avoid "there are." Take a look at the words following "there are" and see if you can start the sentence with one of them.
-Use active voice (the boy wiped his butt) instead of the passive voice (the butt was wiped by the boy). We all like boys to wipe their own butts, especially when they start school, but I've already mentioned that in an earlier post, and am therefore committing the cardinal sin of writing which is wordiness that we all want to avoid like the plague at all costs because it makes the reader pant with breathless anticipation for an end mark such as a period, question mark, or exclamation point!!!!!!!!!!!