Yesterday in grammar class I was going over a practice sheet on capitalization and punctuation with the students. Everyone was in a lighthearted mood, and there was lots of giggling and fun.
Imagine that during a grammar exercise. Instead of marking their papers for them, I let them mark their own mistakes and correct them as we went along.
One of the practice sentences I made up was this: would you please deliver these flowers on wednesday august 26 2009
The kid who offered the answer got everything right except said that flowers gets an apostrophe between the r and the s.
"Oh, no, no, no, no," I chirped. "I am the Queen of Apostrophes. If you learn nothing else in my class by the end of the year, you must learn how to use apostrophes correctly. There is no apostrophe in flowers the way it's used in this sentence. It's just a plural word. If I had said, 'These flowers' petals are falling off,' then you would need an apostrophe, but not in the sentence on this paper."
One kid asked, "If you're the Queen of Apostrophes, who's the king?"
"Stephen, " said another, who knows my son who graduated last year.
Then I added, "Take another look at this sentence. See the date? Does anyone know what's special about it?"
Kid 1: I think it's some kind of holiday,maybe?
Me: Not that I've heard of. Anyone else have an idea?
Kid 2: It's the day some big building is supposed to be finished being built.
Me: Could be, but I'm not sure what building that might be.
Kid 3: I think it's the day of the end of the world.
Me: I hope not because it's my birthday!
Ooh, for a second I was sobered to think the Lord might return in less than a year, and on my birthday of all days.
Another interchange from the same episode:
Me: Let me give you another example of apostrophes used incorrectly. Take a look at this . ( I wrote on the board : Shirt's 2/$15. )
Me: What's wrong with this sign?
Kid 4: It shouldn't have an apostrophe because there's nothing that belongs to the shirts. It's just plural.
Me: Bingo! You're exactly right.
Kid 5: Who would write that?
Me: Well, unfortunately, a lot of people. I see signs like this in stores all the time. The grocery store people will write "Plum's 1.99 / lb." Some sign makers are ignorant about punctuation, which means they don't know any better.
A little later, summing up with them...
Me: Okay, I'm going to ask each one of you to tell me one thing you learned from this practice.
Kid 3: You're not supposed to capitalize colors.
Me: Right.
Kid 1: You need a comma between the day and month and between the month and year.
Me: Good! You are correct.
Kid 6: If we don't learn how to use apostrophes right, we're gonna fail this class.
Me: Well, you might not graduate from this grammar class, that's right! (All in jest, which I clarified, because they can't always tell.) What else did you guys learn?
Kid 5: People that make signs in stores are ignorant .That means they
don't know any better.
Kid 4: They need you!
Me: (beaming) Aw, thanks!
4 comments:
It's good to be needed. Maybe you could be the sign police! :)
Signs like that drive me up the wall too! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. I've actually avoided a vendor and gone to another one because of grammatical mistakes like that. After all, if they don't take the time to proofread their signs, are they going to take the time to be detail oriented with what I need?
I just LOVE grammar.
The use of "'s" can sometimes be complicated unless they get the basic idea of possession vs plural.
My wrath is reserved for TV newscasters (note: no "'") who slaughter grammer.
Punctuation makes a difference.
The Bible uses the words: I would not have you ignorant bretheren.
Punctuation changes the meaning.
"I would not have you ignorant, bretheren."
"I would not have you, ignorant bretheren."
In my class the other week, I had to sit on my hands in the back of the room while a guest speaker was in the room talking about a poster contest and wrote the title of the contest on the board..."Together were Better." The whole time I kept wanting to go put the apostrophe into we're. As soon as she left, I slipped it in without my kids noticing. Glad I'm not the only one who gets funny about those things!!
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