Sick Hypocrite

It was kind of funny in a humbling sort of way. Last week I told my students they'd have to give an oral presentation for geography on Wednesday the 12th, followed by a test on Tuesday of next week. (I don't teach on Thursdays, and we have two early dismissals back to back, Friday and Monday, so Tuesday would be my next in-class day.)

The topic for the o.p. would be the New England state they've been researching. It's cool because I have six students and there are just that many NE states. The presentation had to be 5-7 minutes total, include at least one visual aid, and a learning game for the class. Naturally half the class wanted to know, "What if we're sick?"

Well, let me tell you, I have little patience for sickness as a teacher because it slows everything down. Throw in an early dismissal here and there, some vacation time, a field trip or two, and I feel like we might get not get west of the mighty Mississip by May. I know I'm a nerd, but my mind says, "So much to learn, so little time to teach." And I myself am hardly ever sick. Excluding pregnancy nausea, I've thrown up maybe once a year in my adult life, even less as a kid, and had a cough just every other year. I am thankful I don't get sick often; you'd think gratitude would lead to compassion.

Instead I said, " Don't be sick. I mean, try really hard not to be. If you're sick, you'll have to research the other five states and do a written report."

'Nuff said.

So Wednesday morning--Oral Presentation Day-- I woke up, put my feet on the floor, and ...felt pregnant. It was all I could do to stuff a lunch into Joel's backpack and send him out the door with Dad. (Thank God for a husband willing and able to flex his work schedule to take his son to school sometimes.) Then I ran to the bathroom and--how shall I put this?--made an "oral presentation" of my own. (Need a visual aid to enhance my words?)

Then I went to bed. Woke up for a half hour to email my lesson plans to the sub, and slept the rest of the day, feverish, achey, "out of it." I had the sub go ahead and let the students do their presentations as a practice run, but all I could think about was my warning to them,"Don't be sick."

Lesson learned? Never order a bowl of chicken soup with a slice of humble pie. It will leave a bad taste in your mouth.