Monday, March 19, 2007

Name Those Graces (see bold phrases)

Our ladies' retreat theme was "Path of Grace." For me it was the most relaxed and special one in terms of really experiencing rest. No great highs of emotion, no depths of tears, but a steady sense of sustaining grace that is like that of being in a family on a normal weekend. Comfortable. Peaceful. A "this-is-where-I-belong" assurance.

What assured me was how easy it was to mingle with anyone any time. In the past I've been too self-conscious. I don't think I'm the only full-grown woman to worry about finding a place to fit in at the cafeteria without flashbacks to high school where you always sat at the same table with the same people. You know, the jocks, the preps, the nerds, the brains, the normals. (I think I was a Normal, but we didn't have a name. ) It was in high school that I developed a hatred for cliques. Still hate them, so I really purpose not to hang out with the same people all the time when given the opportunity. I didn't room with my care group ladies even when asked. I roomed with Bonnie and Dana; yes, Bonnie and I hang out a lot together, and Dana and I are good friends, but we were by no means shadowing each other all weekend.

After Friday night's meeting, a bunch of us who don't normally chat on the sidelines got to cluster 'n cackle while eating chocolate-smothered strawberries and cocktail shrimp till nearly midnight! Then I went up and watched about 20 ladies around the fireplace playing something called "The Bowl Game," giving word clues and gestures to a partner across the coffee table. We then moved to a more distant table to play Mad Gab. Kate B and Rebekah S were especially gifted at clue-giving there. My mind was fading with my body at that hour, but I wasn't too tired for Good 'n Plenty, a treat that Karen brought and offered me, knowing immediately I share not just her birthday but her fondness for the pink and white licorice capsules.

Not that the retreat was all fun and food (but hey, you can't knock it for creating memories!).
A few highlights for me personally:

-The picture of my path. Not how I drew I it, of course (never!), but what it represents. Our first "assignment" was to start the retreat by drawing a path of how we picture our life right now. I was so encouraged that my path , straight and narrow, though fraught with boulders, pebbles, potholes, and mountains, is also filled with fellow travelers, and that my little hand is in His BIG nail-scarred ones and He is bigger than all the mountains and can see past all the clouds to the bright Day of His return.

-Debbie's analogy of the importance of many trials in our lives for the good of perseverence. She said that a maranthoner friend of hers never gets a pedicure before a race. Callouses on your feet prepare you to go the distance.

-Laurie's teaching on The Path of Grace for Ordinary Days. Between our few mountaintop experiences and our deep valleys in life are hundreds of ordinary days. We aren't as aware of our need of grace in those. I know I needed her illustration of a situation where a mom could view a child's outburst of anger during a pre-dinner game of Battleship as a bothersome interruption to her meal preparations. (I'm not doing this illustration justice from memory.) An ordinary day in an ordinary home where children are. Mom should instead see that her own anger is every bit as bad has her child's, and she could use it as a prime time to pray with him and repent together of their sin for which Jesus died. I know I often don't even realize that if I get interrupted or offended while doing good (ie. performing my duties in the home or reaching out or having devotions), I put the sins of that offender in a category of their own. If I were to name that category, it'd be "SINS OKAY TO GET ANGRY ABOUT." It was the reminder I needed about divine interruptions being all about the need for grace in the ordinary times.

-Dana and I swapped stories of our past and how God redeemed what Satan meant for evil. I have known her a long time but never knew these details! In the end, just before saying goodnight, I realized a few bad memories had been stirred up regardless of redemption, and Dana had the wisdom in the moment--GRACE !--to say, "Hey, guys, before we go to sleep, can we say the Lord's prayer out loud together?" And we did. Such peace came over me and I slept really, really well in the remaining hours of the night. I mean day! Asleep at 2, awake at 6. Not bad for a retreat!

During our 2-hour designated time of Solitude on Friday afternoon, which I APPRECIATED SO MUCH!!!, the Lord was so sweet to me, as always. I adored him, He talked to me, I was gently convicted in some areas, and I also got a word picture with scripture to share with a friend who'd lost her dad recently. It really ministered to her to hear that God is her Everlasting Father and that He collects all her tears in a bottle (Ps. 56:8, I think). Tears are never wasted in God's economy. He pours them back over us like a balm for healing when we need it.

We also met and had the joy of getting to know a couple ladies from the Philly church named Leigh and Renee. It felt like we'd known each other all our lives.
Despite a sheet of ice covered by 4 inches of snow, it had virtually all melted to a safe slush or had been plowed by the time we had to leave Black Rock. Seeing the plowed pavement was just one more visual aid for me to recall that Jesus goes before us, making rough places plain. (Or,in this case, slippery places unslippery!)
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5 comments:

Briana Almengor said...

I didn't get to go to the retreat this year for obvious reasons, and I'm seriously jealous that ya'll had choc covered strawberries (one of my favorite indulgences).

Glad you had such a good time. Thanks for sharing the details. It was nice to live vicariously while I read. :)

Kitty Couture said...

What a heart-lifting, inspiring post, Zo. Thank you for sharing your graces with us. God bless you, my friend!

Anonymous said...

Nice to read your post Zoanna. Your retreats are quire different from what ladies retreats may be in France, concerning the evening treats and games. Also I wonder if your retreat was from Friday to Saturday only. In France we would have very few ladies attending with such a shedule. We should organize it just for ONE day only, or from Saturday to Monday. It's VERY insteresting for me to see how you do in USA. It may inspire me for similar events here. I'm very glad that you were blessed and renewed to go on on your path.

Zoanna said...

Renee,our retreat this year was from Thursday evening at 7 till noon Saturday. Time passes so quickly it never feels like enough for me. I also have a very competent husband who never gets jitters about being without me. I don't have to leave a long "rememeber this, remember that" list, and he doesn't get upset if I don't call home. So it's total freedom for me to leave. Plus I had no nursing baby at home or with me this time (we go every other year on retreat, and the men have one in between) so I could fully concentrate on the Lord and on other people. Many women were distracted by their maternal duties. I guess I could have included my freedom as a grace. I would love to hear about any initiative you take to retreat with French sisters!

Anonymous said...

You wild party girl, you! :) I can never stay up for the games--too tired--and it's not because I'm pregnant. I just am not a night person and start crashing around 11 p.m. (which is getting to bed late for me). I hear they're a riot, though. Sometime, I'll have to try to force myself to stay up for the fun.

I'm glad you had a relaxing time.