Since a couple of you asked that I pass some Inklings class notes on to you via my blog, I'll share yesterday's lesson. (Thanks, by the way. I'm honored.)
Have you got style in your writing? A working definition of style is "how you say what you say." To improve style, we discussed three areas apropos to the students.
1. Use strong verbs.
2. Show, don't tell.
3. Replace cliches and jargon with original wording.
Regarding numero uno: Sometimes you can't help but use a state-of-being verb (is, are, was, were), but if you can, substitute an action verb. He was a maniac and put the pedal to the metal. Not only have we used a state-of-being verb, we've also used a cliche. Ack! Let's attack the first one first. Instead of using the ole' boring "was" to tell us Tom's crazy road behavior, try some action verbs to engage your reader. Tom used his knees to steer his Chevy on the interstate, swerving in and out of lanes at 85 miles an hour, simultaneously texting his girlfriend and swigging a Slurpie.
FYI: Friends don't let friends drive Chevies.
For the second point on showing vs. telling: That night she acted nervously when she heard someone walking behind her, and went faster to her car in the parking garage. Ir's an okay sentence, somewhat scary, but forgettable. Conversely, details make a difference. Ann heard heavy, steady footsteps behind her in the dark parking garage. She clutched her purse to her chest, bit her lip, and reached for her cell phone.
(Not that Ann is wise in choosing to be in a dark parking garage in the first place, but at least we can see the action in our mind's eye better than we could in the first example.)
Finally, addressing the only thing I hate worse than misused apostrophes: cliches and jargon. Why use phrases that are as moldy as last month's bagels when you can treat your reader to ones fresh from your linguistic oven? For my lovely Inklings, their jargon is filled with Christian cliches. We each made a list of seven examples of Christian jargon in one column, and rewrote them with our own original words in another column. The results? Scrumptious.
5 comments:
While I sat peering into my computer screen in my darkened computer room, I was startled to see a new post in my google reader. my heart was near an arythmic pace when I opened and read my dear friends blog. Could she really invigorate my boring style of writing?
On a serious note, i really appreciate you sharing your expertise with us all. I have a tendency to post first drafts on my blog. (which i go back and revise and revise again.) Any help in making my style more captivating is appreciated.
BTW I would be very interested in the reinvented christian jargon ;)
Mrs Zo,
Love it! One thing you forgot from this week that we worked on-Transitions =)
Still learning from the expert :).
Karen, you're too kind. You've got style.
Maggie, good memory, my friend. You're right. We did talk about transitions. I chose to keep my blog points to three this time, and ruled out transitions as a topic. Smooth seques are very important. Very, very important, so much so that I'm going to talk about them soon.
PS I used the "very" and the "so" just to bug you relentlessly!:)
Stephen, I'm not sure there's any more I can teach you about writing. Your school papers, blog, and public speeches prove it. -Mom
Haha, okay. I was getting a little antsy reading "so" and "very". Gr! Just kidding =)
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