A letter to Mr. I, a dude I met this morning. Most people call him MRI. But that seems so impersonal. I thought I owed him a letter since I separated from him so quickly.
Dear Mr. I,
It's almost 10 a..m and I am....getting...very....sleeeeeepppy. But I just wanted to write you a quick note that expresses my feelings for you. Or to be quite honest, my feelings against you.
Sorry to leave you alone in that cold, half-dark room, but I just needed more space. I need room to breathe and not feel trapped in our relationship. It's not you, it's me. Well, actually, it is you, too. We're not a good match for each other. You deserve a girl who doesn't need drugs in order to hang around with you,. Someone who loves you for who you are--a whitewashed tomb with a serious thing for grandma's music.
And no offense, but I'm not crazy about your barrel chested physique, either. I appreciate the good things you do for people; you really know how to see into people's deepest recesses, actually into things they didn't even know were there. And not to be crude, but you do give a girl a lot of bang for her buck.That much I can say for you. It's just that I am not into a lot of noise and confusion. I would prefer a massage and spa treatment. Actually, I'd rather have another root canal than spend one more minute with you.
Ouch. I know that hurts to hear. But it's true. I'm just being open. I think you should be, too.
And that is why I thought I owed you an explanation. Don't worry. I'm sure you'll have plenty of other flings. You have a magnetic personality, after all. Take care of yourself.
Apologetically,
Zo
11 comments:
Don't worry about hurting his feelings! I've met him too, and found him cold and heartless. (Enjoyed the post!)
I've never encountered him personally, but I think I understand why you parted ways.
I had an MRI that required contrast dye in an IV and I passed out while the tech was putting in the IV. Had to lay on the floor for a while. Uh-huh, not pretty.
Open MRI is a breeze... :) praying for you today.
Ha!!! What a two-timing dude. I've also been in his clutches and there is no magnetic attraction, yet, I do hope your fling wasn't a total loss and that something was gained in those deepest recesses!
Praying!
This was great! Left a huge smile on my face!
Maybe whar was gained is he found out you weren't just PLAYING "hard to get":!
Love it! Hope everything is okay!
That was AWESOME! I love your sense of humor. :)
I've never had an MRI, and I dread the day when I do.
Hope you'll stop by and listen to my audio post at
http://cindyswanslife.blogspot.com
Oh, I have a BIG thing with claustrophobia so I hope I never have the MRI experience...I could totally relate to what you were saying....and you said it so well!
Too funny! Hope things are all right.
How funny and creative! And it's all true. He is Uncomfortable to b around cuz of his "hard" exterior and also hes very close minded and low tolorence to any words spoken or any movement.. Hes quick to punish Anyone who may simPly sneeze. He want people to be seen but not heard. What a hypocrite as he yells, thumps and gives a loud screech even when each of his commands are obeyed. Regardless, he is a loud mouth so ear plugs are a MUST!!! Lisa Thornton
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