Family Reunion Frenzy

Funny how one little Facebook message can propel you from slow-mo to full-speed-ahead. I was in slow-mo as long as I was just thinking it'd be nice to have a family gathering of all my husband's brothers and their spouses and offspring, since it has been quite a long time. Paul is turning 50 in a few days, but he is anti-party. Seriously, remember the day The World Was Supposed to End last month? The next day he said to me, "Good thing that wasn't my last day on earth. I did the three things I hate most in all the world: helped someone move, did yard work, and went to a party."

Naturally he had to meet and marry someone who celebrates things like having Ten Great Nails at the Same Time.

Anyway, back to the Facebook message. I clicked on a message from his oldest brother who lives in Ohio. It said, in short, they're coming to visit the Maryland/Delaware contingent of the family the week of July 4th.

No sooner had my reply, "Great! Can't wait! " and "Paul's 50th" were out of my mouth--er--into the keyboard--that it has come to my attention that we will be hosting a Not a Party But Family Reunion. We have the privilege of being centrally located (okay, not centrally, but between!) the family branches north and south of us, and have room enough to spread out.

This Not a Party But Reunion looks to take place on probably July 10th!

One of his brothers said, "a crab feast and beer" to celebrate everything from the summer birthdays to the kids' leaving, to Ben's engagement, to family coming in from out of town. Things like dentures and Depends got (dis)honorable mention as well in the prep department.

Why is it that words "out of town guests" make you look around your house and declare everything old, ugly, dirty, or in need of fixing up? Seriously! Our carpets look like dropcloths. The sofa pillows resemble matzah. And every door that squeaked or pipe that groaned yesterday is suddenly shrieking and bellowing today.

So, a family reunion in less than three weeks' time to plan! That's how we roll. If this family had a year to put a reunion together, we'd still put it off till the last three weeks. If we had all summer, we'd pull it together on Labor Day. But we plan rather abruptly after long hiatuses (hiati?). Someone either dies suddenly, or someone sends a two-line message: "We're coming in the week of __________." Then all of a sudden we clear calendars, counters, and carpets of as much clutter as we can and thrust ourselves into Planning Mode ,which usually starts with "what to eat? what to eat?" and "How can I whip this house into shape in three weeks after talking about it for three years?".

Hence I am looking around the house, and in the mirror, and seeing outdated things that probably won't or can't be fixed in three weeks' time. But that's okay. We need to get together. Someone just had to get the proverbial ball rolling. And someone else gets to clean like mad, spruce up the yard, maybe paint a bedroom that's about seven years overdue, and send out a mass email listing all the what-to-eats and whatever else she deems important, like date and time, perhaps.