Chrismakuh or Hanumas?

For those who are curious about "what I am" (Jewish? Messianic? Christian?), I will attempt to answer, as best I can: Jewish by birth,Christian by rebirth. Along with that question "what are you?", others have come up regarding the holidays: what do I/we celebrate this time of year, and why?

Simply, I grew up in a Christian home, but had probably the most ecumenical experiences a Christian young person could have. Here is a nutshell chronology of my "religious" upbringing:

1)Age 5: I was baptized in a Baptist church, attended evangelical Christian school from grade 5-10 (and public schools the other years), with a few years at a Methodist church during my youth.
2) Age 6-10. My dad was ordained Baptist in Missouri, but the only job he could find in the Midwest was at a little United Methodist church in Alden, KS. The two best years of my childhood were spent there. I made two good friends, one who has been lifelong (Barb) and we talk every week. I loved watching my dad in his role as a pastor. He is gifted with a thirst for understanding scripture, he is compassionate, he gives good counsel when asked for it (but doesn't push), is not judgmental, and genuninely loves people.
3) Age 11-14 Back in Maryland, we attended Mt. Zion Methodist Church. Methodist charismatic was a big switch, but I loved it. Our youth leaders were Jim Lilley and his young wife, Sharon. Their daughter, Heather, was 3. Their ministry had a huge impact on me as a young teen. Their love for the Lord and His people was unmistakable. Nothing "churchy" about them. We now attend the same church (they for over 20, us for over 10).

4) Late teens: my family joined Calvary Baptist in Bel Air. I stayed there till I left for college. (Later Paul and I were married there. Twenty years ago this December 28th!)

5) For a short summer of my teens, my parents pushed my older sister and me to attend a Jewish youth group for a while. (Met on Saturdays, I think). I remember little about it except impressions: the kids were mostly rich snobs who never mentioned Jesus (except when cursing) and their lives seemed vain and empty.(No wonder.) Their "services" in the synagogue were formal and dull, but again, I loved the sound of Hebrew sung a capella. At their retreat Rachel and I attended, I saw mostly self-centered worldliness, and their mention of God was mostly in conjunction with either tradition or, again, cursing. I really felt like an outsider. I was. The only thing we had in common was our heritage and big noses. And our love of money, except they had a lot and we didn't.

On Sunday mornings I liked going to our Protestant church. In the evening, Episcopal youth group! Spirit-filled Pentecostal type Episcopalian services in God's country-- Darlington, Maryland, where I met a beautiful Christian girl named Kelly. She was the only believer in her family, until her older sister met the Lord. That's when I first came to get an understanding of genuine, daily life relationship with Jesus, outside my own home, through a couple of women at Grace Episcopal: Nan Connor, Bruce Muller-Thym. (Yes, a woman named Bruce.) I was also a singer in a band this youth group formed in the pastor's garage. We sang mostly Phil Keaggy music, which I love to this day. The leader was the pastor's son, full of sweet godliness. For a while I wanted to marry him.

6) Age 18: Got a good scholarship to a Catholic college in Greensburg, PA. Accepted it. I had no idea that Catholicism was so far removed from what I knew about grace and Jesus. The only time I went "to church" was to Mass was when I felt far from God--and guilty, or when I felt really near to God--and "good" or wanted to hear the Bible being read. (I never saw Catholic girls actually read the Bible, but they heard soundbites of the New Testament from priests.) I also loved the chants sung in Latin, also a language foreign to me that took on a beauty all its own when sung a capella. Great acoustics in the 200-year- old cathedral-like sanctuary only added to the magnificent sounds of music. At first I thought the girls who attended Mass on Saturday were more spiritual, as if they "couldn't wait" to get to church. I thought the slackers went on Sunday. Found out that most girls went to Saturday evening Mass, then partied all Saturday night at the men's college 20 minutes away, then slept in the next day, some hung over. "Doing church" and partying were commonplace. For them and me.

While I was in college, my mom was also --back in Baltimore--getting a master's in Hebrew Studies. I think God gives a lot of people a desire for a specific people group. For me it's the Chinese.I can't explain it. My mom has always had a love and desire for the Jews to know their Messiah. Her grandmother was Jewish but didn't practice her faith because of religious persecution. This grandmother died when my mom's mom (Tola) was only 9. Granny Tola's dad was now a single father raising many children. I don't know all the details, but do know Granny was put into a sort of group Masonic home (Masonic, not Messianic!) while her dad made a living on the road. No Judaism in a Masonic home, for sure!


7) AGe 19: Left Seton Hill after 2 years, homesick and sick of sin. (My own and everyone else's.) Came back to Maryland, got an apartment on 33rd Street in Baltimore with Kelly, my friend from Harford Christian/Grace Episcopal. She moved out after 3 months (country girl couldn't handle city life) but I stayed, found a church, met Paul. By then it was October of 1985. I was 20.



Well, this is getting too long. If you're still with me and asking, "Where does the Judaism come in?" then here it is. The Jewish line is passed down through the mother, back to Sarah and Abraham. So in that sense we are ALL Jewish. If you're a Gentile believer, then according to the Bible, you've been grafted in. ("Grafted in" is symbolized by the gold Messianic sign you can see hanging from the center of the wreath above. I made the wreath for my mom this year.) My parents started attending a Messianic congregation several years ago in Burtonsville, MD. That's a LONG way from where they live. After a while, they began to seek the Lord about forming a local congregation. My dad retired from the government (engineer for the US Army) a few years ago, and right away they planted Ain M'Chitzah (pronounced Ane Muh Heet suh). It means "No Dividing Wall" (between Jews and Gentiles).

They decided to abruptly stop celebrating Christmas as we knew it a few years ago. That hurt us a lot. In fact, it was so ugly I could barely rally my spirits to go over the day after Christmas. But my hubby convinced me that maybe I was the one too steeped in tradition. Maybe I was the legalist. You can be legalistic about the day and time of opening presents, and you're no better off than a Jewish legalist, a Catholic legalist, a Seventh Day Adventist legalist, a Protestant legalist, a New Age legalist. Having the identity of Christian doesn't mean you do holidays "right." I thought it did!

I am not about to abandon celebrating my Savior's birth any sooner than I'll abandon celebrating my Savior's death, resurrection, or ascension. Maybe we'll celebrate differently eventually, but my heart is toward Jesus, if I center it there, by His grace. We have a tree, presents on the 25th, no big dinner (not important to us) ,family over Christmas Eve from Paul's side. During this season ,like all other seasons, we worship Jesus ,thank HIm for coming to us in the flesh and atoning for our sins, not the least of which is legalism in every form. Truth be told, I'd rather make this season about giving gifts, and celebrate the coming of Christ in spring, which is Lambing season. Trying to smash it all together is quite a nutty game. Don't get me worng, I lvoe part of the nuttiness, but the blessing not the stressing kind of nuttiness! I would love to give and get eight gifts of any value, in 8 consecutive days in December. Then I would celebrate the coming of Christ in spring, when He was most likely born. Follow it with Passover, Resurrection, Ascension,and Pentecost. Call THOSE the "happy holidays" and bring gifts to the altar and spread them out to the needy. But I don't see that happening soon.

My parents have us over during Hanukkah. They still love to give gifts, still love to have us over to eat and play games. (We love dreidel now, sort of Jewish poker!) Their traditions are different, and I'm not altogether okay with change, but I am bending. If anyone has a tradition of embracing multiple traditions, it's my family (the one I grew up in). My own children are not as flexible. For better or worse, all they've known is two churches. I hope we're not making snobs of them. But at least they're doctrinally well-grounded and see genuine, daily love for the Lord being lived out around them.

That's all for now. I hope I answered the questions some of you have raised without boring you. ??