Daybook 3.18.11

Once again, a post inspired by the Simple Woman's Daybook.

outside my window...dark and a bit cooler than I'd like.

i am thinking... that I'm having a hard time believing that the best days of my life are not behind me. Father, raise my faith. Some days I'm very optimistic, but usually I am wallowing in nostalgia when times were simpler, friends were closer, family got together more often, I had a godly older woman in my life who let me know she cared and invited me over for coffee to talk about God,life, marriage, and how to get stains out of things and where to buy great fresh bread for half price...that kind of relationship I miss on a regular basis.

i am thankful for... good health, improved strength, daffodils, my children, my husband, his income and job satisfaction; our playful puppy and how Joel delights to throw the tennis ball for him time and again; humor; 9 toenails that are growing the correct way; the fun my kids have with their good friends; 78 degrees yesterday, God's everlasting love for me.

remembering... my bridal shower 25 years ago and how Paul kept it a secret from me. I was in the middle of cooking lasagne for him (to show off the mad skills I did not have) and just as I had all the noodles boiled, he says, "Let's go to McDonald's. I'm too hungry to wait to eat." So, rather than voice my disappointment in his alternative to home cooking, I "up and went" with him. Well, we got to the McDonald's parking lot which was right beside Levitz Furniture, and he says, "Before we eat, how about we take a look at furniture?" I think I said, "Well, I thought you were too hungry. How about we eat first and then look at furniture?" He mumbled something about maybe they close early. Well, he managed to steer me through to the back of the furniture store where we came to a door I thought was off limits to customers. He opened it and all these people yelled, "Surprise!" It took me a few minutes to realize the shower was for me. It's the first ever bridal shower I had been to!

from the learning rooms... Joel actually took a test at the school we want to send him to next year. It included math, reading comprehension, writing, and grammar. He said the grammar was really hard. He has difficulty remembering the difference between a noun and a verb. Pronouns completely stump him. Is he my son? Grammar is just one of those things I think he'll have an "aha!" moment for...someday. I can only hope. I feel like Beethoven whose son has just tried to sing and sounds like an ape in heat.

from the kitchen...nothing exciting except for a decluttered cabinet and drawers. I haven't been in a cooking mood lately.

i am wearing... my favorite sweatshirt (a half-zip , black GAP number); jeans, mismatched socks.

i am creating... a staging area for our church's yard sale. The staging area is growing from 1/20th of the living room square footage to 1/15th. Give me 2 weeks and I'll open the front door, post a MOVING SALE sign, and skip the hauling aspect of it all ! I'm still wondering if it's worth the bother.

i am going... nuts without enough mental stimulation. I either need to teach more often in a classroom, or go back to school. I feel my mind is rotting to mush.

i am reading... Understanding the Man in Your Life. I should ask him if he feels more understood now that I'm in chapter 3.

i am hoping... that my 9-year-old stops saying he wishes I'd have another baby. I know he can't possibly understand, and even though I am sure that I don't want another child, it still strikes a tender chord in my heart knowing that the baby factory is gone. Sometimes I just want to nurse again. Sometimes I just want to squeeze soft chubby thighs (that aren't attached to my own legs). Sometimes I want to just kiss a baby and run my fingers through silky angelic curls.

i am hearing... bath water running, Sarah bemoaning the condition of her room (knowing that her friend is spending the night tomorrow. This is the friend whose mom was my best friend back in the day. Kathy gave birth to Hannah 3 weeks before I had Sarah.) Again, I'm waxing nostalgic.

around the house...slowly but surely making headway in simplifying by decluttering and organizing. . Part of me just want to torch it and start over in an RV, and just hit the road.

one of my favorite things... is listening to my 19 year old sing in the shower. He worships with abandon.


pondering...if I can tolerate the pain of having removed what I think is an ingrown toenail.

a few plans for the rest of the week: briday shower for Sacha, b'day lunch for Ben, maybe play a board game, bathe the dog once the backyard dries out completely, walk on the treadmill (I've lost 5 this month, want 8 total); simplify a new "hot spot" (see previous posts if you haven't been tagging along)

picture for the day:
is actually a video of "my baby" . This song played while I was clothes-shopping today! So THAT'S what made me feel so nostalgic and baby-wanting today! It makes sense.

Let Them Be Little