This week is Spring Break for my kids. No college classes, no homeschool. So naturally I enlisted their help to work on some deeper stuff around the house. The two without full-time jobs joined forces in the garage yesterday. What a disaster it was. Stuff stored from long ago. Trash from the night before. Recycled boxes piled up higher than my head. A defunct washing machine. An old medicine cabinet. Furniture that a couple of (packrat)extended family members have said they want back when we're done with it. (I guess to join the junky furniture it matches? I'm tempted to "forget" to return it, but on my honor, I will do as promised.)
Then there was the crib.
"Mom, can we finally get rid of this now?" I have said no for years, thinking I would pass it on as an heirloom. But it's really not in the best shape. And it's Jenny Lind-style, "so 80's." And yet I hung on and hung on to the memories attached to the crib. It was my parents' gift to Paul and me for our college graduation/baby shower gift. Our firstborn's crib. Our second-,third-, and last-born's crib also.
It was special.
Yes, it was. But I realize it is not special now. The children are special. The memories are special. But the faded wood, the broken hinges, the rusted metal? No. They're not special. They only represent the who-and-the-what that made it special. The time in our lives 23 years ago when we became parents was marked by magic, mystery, and mayhem--usually all in the same day.
As I looked at that crib, a rush of questions and statements flooded my mind. In about three seconds flat, I thought these thoughts:
1. You let your rotten womb go. Can you let this rotten crib go, too?
2. You're not letting go of your love of your children. In fact, they're ultimately loving you by helping you let go of stuff. Will you accept that?
3. Won't you prefer to give your children brand new cribs for your grandchildren, the same way you wanted a brand new crib for your babies? It's not like Paul hand-carved this crib and sanded it for four months. He's not Pa Ingalls.
4. You can pass on the legacy of faith in God's provision, not the legacy of fear by hoarding. How about that?
5. You're not the one who can create life and breath anyway. But you CAN create breathing ROOM. Remember how good that feels?
So, with a flash of courage--actually the courage God has been instilling in me for several months--I said, "Okay, go ahead. Take it. Unless--" I faltered as Sarah lifted the large front part of the crib, "unless you want to keep it for your babies?"
She quickly replied, "Uh, no thanks.I'd rather put my babies in something they're not gonna fall out of."
We both laughed, and that was that. She loaded it into the van. Steve put the rest in beside it. I have raised decisive children. And wasn't that something I prayed for when their tiny heads slept in that crib? That God would give them strong intellects and help them make wise decisions? That they wouldn't repeat the mistakes of their mother and father? That they would trust Him for their every need? Despite my example of clinging to things with one hand and to God with the other, my children are much less clingy to things and have more faith than I did at their age. What a blessing!
Letting go the past, literally, on the very day I was celebrating the birth of my firstborn, felt doubly good. God never takes from you what he doesn't replace a thousand-fold.
9 comments:
I loved this post! Very well said! I would hang on to more if I had a different husband : ) He's a neatnik!
beautiful reflections and wisdom.
It's good to let go sometime. Otherwise you might end up like my mom (and I love her and she knows that) but seriously, I went through baby clothes with her before Sophia was born and she had yellow stained onsies and broken toys that so and so had made up!! I was like, "Mom, seriously?!" :) I tried to throw away the onsies and she said no, she'd take them to Goodwill. I don't know if Goodwill wants them . . . LOL. Thought you'd get a laugh.
Danielle, it's funny and it's not, really. It's the way people grew up, I'm sure. Not totally, but in large part. It seems that some people are "keepers" and others are "thrower-outers." It's hard not to judge the other type--or idolize them--because I don't think there's anything wrong with "thoughtful keeping" and there CAN be something wrong with the reason you dispose of some things. My parents both are products of the Great Depression, as was my husband's husband. He grew up poor, we grew up poor-to-middle, my kids are even better off than either of us. But one of my kids has a really tough time parting w/ stuff, and so I think it's part personality, not fully economic or logical reasoning behind "keeping."
All I know is, I'm growing in "letting go" and it feels great.
Oops! Husband's PARENTS, not husband's husband. YUCK!
LOL
OH, and yeah, I would throw out stained onesies and made-up toys, for sure. My parents saved the ORIGINAL boxes of stuff in their basement for 30 years "for when they moved." Well, they moved, but half the boxes were ruined, and for all those years we could have done so many more things with the empty SPaCE! Like have fun with friends in the basement.
What a wonderful post! I love cleaning out and getting rid of stuff. Now, that sure doesn't mean that I still do not have plenty of "unneeded" stuff, but I'm usually pretty good about taking it to the thrift store. Hubby, not so much! :o) But, we've lived in the same house for 30 years and that's sure not good. If you move you usually get rid of more stuff.
Thanks for stopping by earlier today and enjoy the rest of Spring Break and getting rid of more stuff. Blessings abundant!
Zo- Have I told you how inspiring your "letting go" posts have been lately? I am much more a "thrower outer" than a "keeper". (If there is a reluctance to rid in some cases, I comfort myself with the truth that "most everything is replaceable") so if I find I made a mistake and got rid of something I should have kept, it can probably be replaced... if it is vitally important... Honestly though for all the things I've parted with, I've not needed anything back. It's the sentimental values we give items that can make saying goodbye (and good riddance) harder than it should be. You have wise and helpful children! Blessings! God is good!
Laurie, thanks, but what makes the "letting go" posts inspiring to a thrower outer? I'm confused. Are you saying you are inspired to let go of more sentimental things?
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