Flashback Friday: Of Things That Bounce and Things That Shouldn't

Tie your tennis shoes, folks. Today's Flashback Friday topic is Phys Ed when you were a kid in school. I'll bet the very mention of the subject has made you think of something immediately. Positive or negative, but not neutral. "Gym class" is a phrase that does things to people's long-term memory, huh?

Let me share a little of my personal memories of PE. For reference, my earliest memories of gym class are from third grade. I think James Monroe was in office. Or was it Grover Cleveland?

Here are the questions.


Was physical fitness a focus in school when you were growing up?

I don't think we thought much about "fitness" when I was in elementary school. We were so active outside that we naturally burned off everything we consumed. Personally I was a runt, but a healthy runt. Our family went through a "poor" time when Daddy was a pastor, but our entertainment was predominantly fun outside with my friends. My mom was nutrition- conscious, so we rarely got sugared cereals or sweet treats except if we walked "uptown" to the penny candy store with hard-earned nickels. There were hardly any fat kids in my early school days, that I remember. We were always running around outside, playing hide 'n seek, Kick the Can, freeze tag. We climbed trees and ran foot races. Occasionally we rode a neighbor's Shetland ponies that we had no business riding. On hot summer days we swam in my friend Barbie's horse tank full of cold water from the hose.

Was recess organized games or just free playtime?

Both. In fifth grade, the game we "organized" most often was kickball. I loved it because I was a decent pitcher, a smart kicker (knew where the "weakest links" were and aimed accordingly), and could run the bases like a greyhound. (I am not making this up, kids!)

During free playtime, I liked being on the teeter-totter (see-saw) except when certain people decided that it was rather fun to keep their 77 pounds on the down side while suspending my 65 pounds in mid-air. I think I learned a fear of heights on the teeter-totter.




What are your memories of P.E. in junior high/middle school and high school?

My overriding memory of P.E. in junior high flashes to mind every time I see a pair of studs. And I don't mean two good-looking men. I mean earrings.

One day I was in the locker room of our Christian school getting ready for gym. I was changing out of my dress, which meant having to take off my slip. (Does anyone wear slips any more?)

Well, just as I was lifting the thing up over my shoulders, the fire alarm sounded. HARNK! HARNK! HARNK! Scared me so bad I jerked the slip off my head sideways and the left strap got caught in my earring, slitting my earlobe. (Sorry. I should've warned you queasy folks that was coming.) I don't know what I put on to run outside, but all I could think of was what a tough decision: to appear in front of the boys half naked, or burn up trying to avoid it. I chose to get dressed and take my chances. But the earlobe damage stayed with me my whole life. That is why I have to wear dangle earrings, because a post ("stud") in the left earlobe sits so low it appears to be falling out.

What did your "gym suits" or "dress out" clothes look like?

Oh, I wish I had pictures! They were the most hideous garments ever worn by humans. I kid you not. The girls' uniforms? White button-down oxfords and red knit shorts to the knee. For the sake of modesty, they were to the knee, yes, but ironically, skin tight. Tighter than brand new tube socks. In order not to have panty lines show, you had wear an enormous shirt that hung way down over your butt, an option which obliterated most of our hopes for accentuating what precious little we had up top. Most of the girls wore the same shorts all four years of high school so they could show more leg as they got older. *Notice I say "they."

The boys' shorts were embarrassingly short, designed with an "open-airy"concept at the leg, and made of cheap, thin, red cotton. I think some of the boys wore their same shorts for four years also, for what reason I have no clue. But I'm haunted even now to remember our co-ed trampoline classes when we had to "spot" each other. Can you see where I'm going with this? Ai, yai, yai.

Was P.E. a favorite or dreaded subject?

Except for the aforementioned recreation of "spotting" things that shouldn't be spotted until your wedding night, I looked forward to gym class, and usually our classes were NOT co-ed. I relaxed much more when it was just girls being athletic girls, without distraction or displays of adolescent machismo.

Every class in Christian school began with prayer, and I'll always remember how the boys' gym teacher started his class. "Let's bow, guys, let's bow," while tucking his shirt into his sweatpants. It seemed he did more tucking than praying, and it was an uncomfortable sort of tucking to watch. (Why I was watching instead of praying, I don't know. Maybe it's time I repent of that.)

We also had this mini session in high school gym class called Christian Charm taught by a very ladylike teacher, Miss Brooks. The only thing I remember from it is that ladies should never ever go out in public with a run in their hose. We should be prepared at all times with clear nail polish to stop a run, but better yet, carry a spare pair of nylons in our purse and change as soon as possible. Yeh, um. I'll get right on that.



Did your school do the Presidential Physical Fitness Program?

Yes.

How did you do with that?

I was always proud of my performance. I had endurance for jumping jacks like you would not believe. Isn't that a claim to fame. Upper body strength without an upper body to speak of. Go figure. I was good at the ropes and rings, too. Cracks me up to picture myself trying those things now.

Did you take the minimum amount of P.E. required or did you take more?

I always did what was required, but not more. My parents stressed academic prowess, not physical conditioning. They said that one day the body would go and you'd want to be sure to have a sound mind.

Well, they were partly right. Come to think of it, though, I do have a sound body.

Creeeeeak.

Pop!

Sigh.

So that's my PE history. Aren't you glad you invested the last few minutes of your life finding out what's in my bag o' memories?