Friday, July 25, 2014

Crap Shoots and Spanx

calamitous, glittering, fraction, ambitious, spanx and indispensable

Delores at Under the Porch Light must have had extra fun wrapping the gift of words into a clever package this week. The bow on top was "Spanx.' Let's just say, it's unusual "material" as writing prompts go, which makes it all the more exciting. 


Irene wondered if she were making a calamitous mistake by saying "yes" when her best friend Gladys asked her to be her matron of honor. After all, Irene had watched Gladys change boyfriends as often as some people unload the dishwasher. 

A first wedding for the 77- year-old Gladys, she had  spent the better part of 60 years pursuing what most people would call a glittering career as a Las Vegas showgirl. Plastic surgery provided the nips and tucks needed like oil changes every 5,000 miles on her Mercedes of a body. Gladys thrived on the ambitions she'd dreamed for herself when she'd left  the plains of Nebraska. 

Gladys's second best friend, after Irene, was Spanx, the rubberized brand of material known for punishing the largest fraction of the female torso in the name of vanity. She endured the punishment heroically; after all, a showgirl's tight curvatures--derriere, midriff, and cleavage-- were indispensable to her paycheck.  

What's more, she knew she couldn't retire the Spanx unless she herself retired.  

Or got married, whichever came first.   

It was the crap shoot of all crap shoots.



Delores said...

Oh Boy...Gladys has become a shaky ship held together by Spanx. God help the new hubs when the Spanx comes off. What a great story.

Lea said...

Well, you do so well with these prompts and I'd be as "lost as a goose", Spanx or no Spanx! :o)) Happy weekend!

Zoanna said...

Thanjs. Yes, indeed, Gid help the new hubs-- for Oodles of reasons!

Zoanna said...

Thanks, Lea. Try it! Just don't overthink. It took me 20 fun minutes to write that,

Susan F. said...

I love the photo - and your use of the word prompts is perfect! I wonder what Gladys will require Irene to wear in the wedding - and will she also need spanx?

Susan Kane said...

Perfect take on Delores' words!

And the photo? A superb spring board for the story.

Zoanna said...

Thanks, Delores, and Susan and Susan. (Is that a bit like "my cousins Larry, Darrell and Darrell?")

River said...

I certainly hope the rubber doesn't perish and fail Gladys after all that wearing. I meant to get here earlier, but I don't log on on Tuesdays, that's my time out day and before that I just forgot.