Explain Whale to Me

I love this Doctor! Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiency. What does cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So steak is nothing more than efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef also good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And pork chop can give you 100% of recommended daily allowance of vegetable product. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Bottom up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have body and you have fat, your ratio one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No pain...good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food are fried these day in vegetable oil. In fact, they permeated by it. How could getting more vegetable be bad for you?!? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise muscle, it get bigger. You should only be doing sit-up if you want bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming good for your figure, explain whale to me.. Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' a shape! Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!" AND..... For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Weight Weport # ??

Losing track is so much easier than losing weight, but I'm happy to report a small loss of 1.4 this week. Total is 18 and change, exactly half of what my WW partner, Karen, has achieved.

She is really burning her butt off up in the hinterlands. I ran into her for the first time in a long time at our WW meeting place, mostly because she and I can't make it at the same time every week anymore. Nonetheless, seeing her fly out the door while I flew in was a highlight in my day.

I need to get back to seriousness in my journey downward. I am nowhere near where I wanted to be when I started in April. I had hoped to have lost at least 30 by now. Mostly need to return to doing the things I was doing in the beginning--keeping track of points, exercising at least 4 times a week, reading uplifting material on the subject, planning for hunger, making menus, and shopping accordingly. The thought of doing this in Foodville reminds me to also return to the things that made my marriage stronger in the beginning, but that's a whole 'nother post.

Thank You, Lord, for this small victory, and for letting me rest in your mercy when I'm feeling defeated. Please help me stay the course for Your glory and my good.

Weight Weport at the 4-month Mark

Not much I want to say here. I went 3 weeks without accountability. The first week I missed on purpose because I had previously lost a respectable amount. The second week, though, we were on vacation. No accountability and a whole lotta eatin' going on. A whole lotta eatin' and a whole lotta nothin' else, too, like sleeping, sunbathing, reading, swimming (I did laps in the pool, some walking and biking, but not enough to counteract "vacation treats"), so...

I was not at all surprised to have gained weight. An ugly 2.4, to be exact. No "22 by 44" goal reached. (I had wanted to lose 22 pounds by my 44th birthday.) HowEVer, I did go shopping the last day there and bought jeans that are actually four sizes smaller than ones I wore this past year. I have not worn this size in nearly 9 years. So it was a celebration for me.

Speaking of weight, Joel had no choice but to attend my WW meeting with me y'day. The leader made us do something (as a group) that felt dumb and sounded corny. (I know, I should've felt right at home, but even I have my limits.)

Coming out of the meeting, Joel defined "corny" in a nearly-perfect way. Check it out.