Think-Back Tuesday: Remembering Your Mom

I am keenly aware that some of my readers have lost their mom, either recently or long ago. Some of us have our moms living nearby and others far away. But one thing we all have in common (unless Mom passed away before we were old enough to know her) are specific memories that are sometimes hidden until thought about, and others are rather "there all the time."

Here are some questions I am throwing out there. My hope is that you'll join in and find the exercise meaningful, perhaps cathartic, maybe heartwarming, or even something to give you a sense of closeness to your mom, wherever she may be.

Copy and paste the bold section to your blog and link up here. Leave a comment and I will definitely follow you for your answers. My answers are at the bottom.


Think back to when you were growing up:

1. What fragrance did your mom wear? Was it a daily scent such as soap, or do you remember how she smelled when she was dressed up to go somewhere special?

2. What did your mom like to do for pleasure? Was it a hobby (such as reading or flower gardening) or a necessity that she found enjoyable (such as cooking)?

3. What are some phrases you remember your mom using a lot? Do you find yourself blurting them out automatically in similar situations?

4. Do you know your birth story and any details of how your mother dealth with her pregnancy, your babyhood, and any special hardships or help she had in the early years?

5. What five things immediately come to your mind that your mom taught you. Don't dwell too long on ranking their importance and whether they were spiritual, relational, practical, or whatever. Just jot down five that you think of first, in any order.

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1. What fragrance did your mom wear? Was it a daily scent such as soap, or do you remember how she smelled when she was dressed up to go somewhere special?

My mom is still alive and 69 years old. Every day my mom took a shower or bath (still does that I know of). My memories are that she always smelled clean, usually like Caress soap. In the 70s she would wear Windsong or Charlie. "Windsong" she liked to quote the commercial) "stays on his mind." Daddy would say "it doesn't take Windsong to make you stay on my mind, Brenda." (My dad, the quintessential romantic husband.) I think Mama wore "Charlie" because it was her dad's name. Today she is allergic to most skin products, so she doesn't wear perfume. She has always had minty breath, too, or at least neutral. She insisted on brushing her teeth first thing after getting out of bed. "I'm sure not even the LORD wants to smell my breath first thing in the morning!"

2. What did your mom like to do for pleasure? Was it a hobby (such as reading or flower gardening) or a necessity that she found enjoyable (such as cooking)?

Read, read, read, read. Study, study, study, study. My mom can't get enough books. From the time she was a girl raising sheep, she had a book in her hands under an old oak in the pasture. Watching sheep graze while she was reading put her in her element. When she graduated from high school, she went on to study nursing at KU. But then she got married at age 19, moved to Baltimore on her honeymoon, and within three years, put formal studies on hold for a little while. Just a little while. She went to seminary with my dad in Kansas City when we moved there in 1971 (ish) and took classes. ( I was six.) When we moved to Kansas for my dad's pastorate, Mama went to Sterling College and double-majored in political science and religious ed. She earned two diplomas the same year and would have received them on stage except that she was in the hospital recovering from a surgery that nearly cost her life. When we moved back to Maryland, she took classes at the community college and then got a Masters in Jewish Studies from Baltimore Hebrew College. Later at age 54 or so, she went back to nursing school and got her RN at age 57. So, she has always been reading and studying, learning for pleasure. Her most exciting gift to receive (which seems to get old for the giver, but she gets all "glowy in the face" when she opens up a Barnes & Noble gift card). Forget the flowers, give the woman a trip to the bookstore!



3. What are some phrases you remember your mom using a lot? Do you find yourself blurting them out automatically in similar situations?

1. "Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it."
2. "Suspicion of others comes from the knowledge of oneself."
3. "Let no evil talk come out of your mouth, but only that which is good." (scripture)
4. "Rise and shine and give God the glory." (She would sing this as she threw open the curtains on a summer morning at 7 a.m. in our bedrooms. It supposedly helped set our minds where they should be to get up and pick weeds. It backfired. It's the main reason I don't like veggie gardening.

I find myself saying only the first one, and it's usually why it's hard for me to "pack light" for trips!


4. Do you know your birth story and any details of how your mother dealth with her pregnancy, your babyhood, and any special hardships or help she had in the early years?

I am only 14 months younger than my older sister, and my first two kids are 13 months apart, so I can appreciate her difficulty. I don't know many details except that I was born at 6:52 a.m. and my dad was really pleased to have another girl. My mom got thrombophlebitis and had be hospitalized for six weeks, during which time my Grandma Dauber came to live with us to help with the grandbabies. I'm sure that's why Grandma and I bonded so closely.

5. What five things immediately come to your mind that your mom taught you. Don't dwell too long on ranking their importance and whether they were spiritual, relational, practical, or whatever. Just jot down five that you think of first, in any order.
1. By example, start the day with prayer and Bible reading.
2. As long as you have books, you'll never be bored.
3. "Learn to be content in whatever state you're in, except Alaska. I couldn't tell you to be content there if I couldn't."
4. Store up food for the future. (Her idea of future is an impending 7-year famine; mine is a month's worth of meat in the freezer and as much other food as I can get at once in order to avoid the grocery store again soon.)
5. Learn as much as you can about as many different things as you can.