I'm not one of those balanced-life bloggers. If there is such a thing as addiction to blogging, I'm an addict. If it's a stronghold, I'm in the grip. If it's gaining too much pleasure out of sharing my life with people I know and don't know, then I need to redefine pleasure. At any rate, fasting from blogging for a week doesn't seem to help. I come back to it with a vengeance. I don't know what else to do besides give it up altogether. Some people can post a couple times a month or go two months. Not me. I probably have an inflated view of my life.
I still long for personal companionship-- deep, meaningful and lasting. Loneliness has triggered many an hour in blogland for me. Depression has come for a visit once again, so to do battle in my mind against it, I have to pull back from this pseudo-happyplace called blogland and get back into serious prayer and Bible study and being busy in my home. I also really want a friend like Barb here all the time. Okay, not a friend LIKE Barb, but Barb herself. (Barb, I know you're reading this. I miss you so much; you are my female soulmate.)
I was going to completely delete my blog, but there are things on it that mean something to me, if to no one else. Maybe I'll return when the back of this beast has been broken and I can control it rather than vice versa. Adios, amigos. I will be fighting urges to check in on you all the time. You know what they say, though, "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
8 comments:
Zoanna, I'm sorry if my comment earlier upset you, I was upset. But, I'll miss hearing from you via the blogs, that's for sure. Do what you have to do. I'll be praying for you!
I will miss you. You are one of the best blog-friends I could have asked for.
You are young so live your life. It is more important than the fleeting words of bloggers.
God bless and much love,
Betty G
Same here! Blogs can't take the place of real life. Will miss hearing from you too, but maybe God wants you to be investing somewhere else.
I'll miss you, my one of like five loyal readers. But I think you are on the right track. I believe you will reap great things from making first things first and cutting out distractions. Can we email you once in awhile or will that be a distraction as well?
Don't delete. Or at least consider that blog book thingy Bethany talked about awhile ago. You can have all this converted to a bound book, kind of a scrapbook. There is so much here. Maybe so that you don't fall off the wagon, Sarah can figure out how to upload it to the book site.
I hear you and feel much of what you're saying. For myself, I often battle feelings of wanting to be significant. I know God sees when I am busy at home, but it is hard if no one else does, even me. Sometimes it gets undone before I've finished the task.
You have been and are a great example to me. We may share kindergarten aged kids, but I do look to you as a wiser, little bit older, woman. So, thanks for sharing your life!
Dear Zoanna,
I smell the putrid, rancid, odorous attack of a defeated foe, who can do nothing but flee like a coward, when believers stand firm In Jesus Christ.
"Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain." (1Cor.15:58 NIV)
Zoanna, the following comments are coming from the mind and heart of a man, a man who is not afraid to live like a man in this feminized culture.
I have found that your blogging brings the God-honoring, light, relationship and hope of Jesus Christ to a confused, depressed and lonely world. A world desperately in need of Jesus Christ.
Maybe your blogging isn't an addiction, but a calling that won't let go?
Your gifted, Christ-loving blogging, if published even once every 10 days, is more the work of ministry to the Lord, and to others, than many give of themselves in a lifetime.
I have lifted you in prayer and I repeat: ...stand firm. and let nothing move you.
You as a busy wife, mom, and servant through your church and other ministries (many of I know you initiate), must of course order your own life priorities.
Please know that I am certainly not trying to impose on your liberty, or your personal priorities or responsibilites. God-forbid, may it never be so.
My intent, is only to share as one, who is under heavy and continuous attacks for my efforts to join in with the Lord in His work. Lynne and I must always remind ourselves through the Word, and pray for one another, that we stand guarded and firm, that our faith may not fail.
We can't stop the attacks, but we have the power to overcome. And, when we survive the attacks and turn back victoriously, we are commanded to strengthen and pray for other saints under attack (Luke 22:31-32, Eph. 6:18b).
Scriture assures us that there is a "white stone" with a new, very special name engraved on it, waiting in eternity for overcomers (Rev. 2:17). Zoanna, don't let anyone rob you of your faithfully hard won "white stone".
In His Love,
God Bless
I remember a woman at our church share the story of the little girl who released her dollar store pearl necklace that she loved so dearly into her beloved father's hands, only to have returned to her a genuine string of pearls. As you let go of this form of communication, may you find the abundance of God's grace fill you in an area you never saw before. Take heart...God is faithful! He loves you and will satisfy you with Himself. I think you are making a wise and fruitful choice.
Will miss you! But life away from the computer screen really is so much better! I keep reminding myself of that when I find myself spending too much time online.
Zo,
I will still email you... you don't have to reply though... I understand why you are leaving. If you have really left, you won't even have read this comment...
I pray that the Lord will help you see what He wants you to do. Either way, I support you my friend. It is through this blog we became friends.
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