Reflecting on a Life Well Lived

We celebrated the life and mourned the death of a precious brother in our church today. His name was Roger Pryor. A gentle man with pensive eyes, a broad smile and well-groomed moustache, he always wore a cardigan sweater once the weather turned cold. When Paul and I came to Chesapeake in 1995 from a church where we had shriveled up spiritually, we were parched and hurt. The care group Roger led at Skip and Kim Chase's house was our first introduction to the love of Chesapeake. I knew from our first evening there that we belonged.

Over the course of a few years, we also had a chance to receive some godly counsel from Roger "up close and personal." I told his wife, Debbie, something I remembered learning from him was hard but sweet. That lesson was, What happened to the wicked servant who would not forgive after receiving forgiveness? I always thought he was thrown in jail. No, his soul was turned over to the tormenters. I have experienced such torment of soul many times for my refusal to forgive. Jail is better than that.

The other lesson was easy and sweet: the Greek word koinonaeia in plain English. "Biblical fellowship is not coffee and donuts," Roger explained one night. Oh, maaaan, you just ruined my day by telling me that! No, it can include coffee and donuts, but it MUST include Jesus. Christians standing around talking about sports, family, finances, or even about the church--is not biblical fellowship. We often call it that, but that's simply Christians socializing. Talking scripture, sharing a testimony, relating how God has answered prayer--such things as these constitute biblical fellowship.

Jim Cannon, our pastor, did a beautiful and eloquent job of honoring Roger, a friend of his for over 20 years. One thing he mentioned was Roger's love of cars. I would have listened to him talk on and on about cars, had I known he was a fanatic about them. Maybe he thought no woman would appreciate that subject, but had I known, I would've abandoned the women's circles to listen in on the men's conversation. (I often enjoy men's little chats more than women's , anyway, probably because they are different from ours. )

Abby sang in her usual, glorious "country angel" voice I call it. Cherubic, soulful, with a hint of Nashville. I don't know how she got through the song. Yes, I do: Grace! It was a new song I can't wait to learn, something about sovereign arms.

Gary Bull, a friend of ours since Paul's single days, gave a tribute to Roger. He said Roger had mentored him on topics of marriage, devotional life, spiritual gifts. He often encouraged Gary to pray that God would stir up his prophetic giftings to bless the church. Gary has done that, and God has blessed us many times. Gary's word pictures are always vivid, his speech articulate, and the message specific--a very effective combination. I always look forward to Gary's prophetic words even if I don't sense they're for me.

Donny Gill gave a poignant tribute infused with humor. He stressed how Roger loved God's Word and was a diligent student of it. As Donny recalled, "Roger never asked 'What does this scripture say to you?" That doesn't really matter. It's "what is this scripture saying?'" (Lest that sound dogmatic, as I once thought, please understand that it was meant with complete humility. Our interpretation may or may not be correct, but the bible is always correct. We simply have to find out what it means; we have to rightly handle the word of truth. )

A terrific slide show was presented. Funny, moving, upbeat, sobering, all at once. And the song by Sara Groves (the only one of hers I personally care for) "He's Always Been Faithful to Me."
To see Roger as a young boy, to know that he had a rocky young adulthood, a soldier in the US Army, to hear his son recall as a memory the unmistakable change he saw in his dad when Roger received salvation, to know Roger as a leader, a church administrator, an intense bibliophile,a sufferer of cancer....God was always faithful to him. To hear Jim read from Roger's journal from the past couple of months, thanking God for the cancer! He wrote, "thank You, Lord, for removing the distractions of the world from me.....May my testimony be that I trusted You."

How privileged I am to have known Roger, to have been part of his care group, to have seen how an overworked, underpaid church administrator serves without complaining, to have witnessed a man cherishing his wife and praying for his adult children, these are all a part of his legacy. As Jim clearly distinguished, "An inheritance is what someone leaves to you. A legacy is what someone leaves in you."

Thank you, God, that you created Roger for Your good pleasure and for Your glory. He was an excellent steward of both Your inheritance and Your legacy! I will miss him.