Y is for Yesterday's Weddings :Flashback Friday

Thanks to a meme I enjoy from Linda, I have great questions to help guide (and condense...maybe condense??) this post about family weddings. (She asked that we not include memories of our own wedding.)


1. What was the earliest family wedding you remember attending?

It was my Aunt Vesta's and it was outdoors and mostly a drizzly day with some sun peeking out now and then. I was probably about seven or eight years old. She was a tall, beautiful blonde and this was her second marriage, I think. She wore a hat, which I thought was not very bridal compared to a veil and I wondered if a wedding outside a church really "counted." I asked my mom if they were really married since they weren't in a church. She said yes.

2. Did your family attend many weddings? What do you remember of them?

We attended a few. I remember my Aunt Gail's, though. Since she was my idol in my early youth (she was sweet and beautiful) she was a storybook bride. Huge Catholic church wedding. I really only remember that I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Her gown had a cathedral train and big veil and I think it was at her wedding that I fell in love with lace and said, "Someday when I'm a bride, I want a dress like that!" (And I got it.)

3. What was typical of weddings, and were you ever in a wedding as a child?

Throwing rice at the happy couple between wedding and reception was typical. My mom, who hated the tradition because people threw it at her face way too hard, always said, "toss it lightly up--not at--the bride and groom!" I was never in a wedding as a child. The first one I was in ? My own. Second and only other? My sister Rachel's.

4. {As a young adult in weddings} what role did you play?

I was just a regular guest at my sister Andrea's wedding. Hers was a small garden ceremony at Steppingstone Museum overlooking the Susquehanna. My role was to help my husband keep our three kids on or near our laps and to keep their mouths from saying, "I'm hungry." "I'm bored." or "Is it over yet?"

At my sister Rachel's wedding, all three of my older kids were in the ceremony. Ben and Stephen were ringbearers, and Sarah (along with her cousin Emily) were flowergirls. I was Rachel's matron of honor.

5. Growing up, were you the one who planned your wedding repeatedly, or was it no big deal?

In my teens I remember thinking I could pick any day I wanted to get married (knew nothing of church master calendars, reception hall venue booking, or reasonable amount of time to put a big wedding together). I wanted to get married on April 18th because I thought the date sounded pretty, and that I would choose a lot of different pastel colors for my bridesmaids. One in lilac, another in yellow, another in green. I never thought that all of my grandparents would NOT be there. I don't think I thought much more about just that I would be a beautiful bride with a tall, handsome groom who would be a great daddy to lots of babies. I spent more time naming my future children and trying to figure out what kind of last name would be good with "Zoanna."

6. What is something that is different about today's weddings, and do you think it's for the better or worse?

Negatively: The number one difference that I see is how much more casually dressed some of the guests are at the more formal weddings. If the guests simply "don't like to dress up," they disregard decorum. I think ladies should wear dresses or skirts, and guys should wear jacket and tie unless it's sweltering hot outside.

Not different from today's and yesterday's weddings is the split between the sacred and the secular the moment the reception starts. It's like going from Westminster Abbey to the French Quarter on Mardi Gras.

Positively: It seems like grooms are more involved in the planning, so it's "their" day, not just "her" day. Brides seem to do things their way a bit more often (which I'm sure is the source of contention between mothers and daughters, particularly if mother and dad are footing most or all of the bill). The cakes are certainly more original in design, I think, or at least it's okay to have a robot cake or a Nascar cake or kissing iguana toppers if you want.