Friday, January 13, 2012

I'm on Overload

I'll say it right off the bat. I could use a hug. Not a virtual one, but a real live one. The past two weeks have been one adrenaline rush after another, positively and negatively. I've been riding an escalator up and down since Sunday, and there are more rides in sight.

Down: Last week--fridge died
Up: This past Monday morning-- got new fridge
Down: Monday night --my husband fainted and knocked 2 teeth loose when his face hit the floor. Had emergency orthodontic repair the same night.
Up: our blood pressure after it happened
Down: Tuesday- dentist appt for x-rays.
Up: He said teeth should be fine, but it takes time to tell if nerve lives or dies.
Wednesday--exhaustion for both of us, and arguing about whether he should see specialists to see if there was an underlying cause for the syncopal episode (fainting)
Down: Thursday--Oldest son came home sick from work
Up: Friday (today) hubby agreed to keep cardiology appointment that *I* made for him
Down: that dr was superconservative and hubby didn't like what he had to say
Up: my oldest son's mood because he gets to move into his first apartment tomorrow
Down: my mood, for maternal reasons related to son's moving out
Up: my mood when our pastor, Arie, called to see how we're doing. I don't think pastors realize how much it means to get a caring call even when you're not in the hospital.
Down: Paul's immune system. He can't figure out why this cold is lingering and why it's not responding very fast to antibiotics.
Up: my daughter's mood when she got to sub four times this week in the kindergarten class she loves.
She takes the Praxis tomorrow, so she's nervous.

Add to this mix the effort I am trying to lose weight, make a scrapbook for my mom's birthday this coming Sunday, dust and vacuum to reduce allergens bothering my husband...

But hey, the Ravens are going to the playoffs so that's a big "up". If they lose, it will be a big "downer." It's not a fun house here when our team loses.

I haven't cried yet. I used to cry very easily, but the older I've gotten, the more scabby my heart has gotten. Or am I maturing in my ability to control my tears? Is it grace that I haven't cried, that I am strong for those who need me for soft foods and doctor appointments, shared excitement over getting hired two days after graduation, helping with a "moving experience," literally, and someone to drill him on Latin verbs and sign his permission slips.

I feel like there's going to be a crash soon and all this bottled up tension will pour, pour, pour out of me.

I would appreciate your prayers, and really wish I could get a hug.


Danielle said...

Aw, lots of changes for sure! Will be praying for you guys!

Zoanna said...

Thanks, Danielle. We're being carried on prayer.

Anonymous said...

Wow what a week! Hoping things look more up than down next week! Hugs and prayers.

Katharine said...

Wow, that's quite the list...sorry it's not in real life but prayers and ((hugs))!

Lea also known as "CiCi" said...

Wow! I need a hug just after reading that list! Bless your heart, I so understand "ups and downs" and they can slap wear one out. Sending you a big ole' HUG and may our Lord wrap His loving arms around you and assure of His everlasting presence. Blessings my friend!

Becky said...

Wow crazy week of ups and downs. Can't give actualy hug but can give virtual ones (((((Zoanna)))) and prayers for you and family.
Don't stress about the blow out just be ready for it when it comes with lots and lots of Chocolate!

Laurie said...

I pray those up and downs would gain balance in our God Who knows all about them and is not surprised... or sleeping! There is a time and season for everything. When tears come may they be the cleansing kind that fall as God gathers you up for His spiritual hug. God's spiritual hug is the BEST! I'm also praying for many "in the flesh" hugs as God's reminder of grace to you. Love ya!

Briana Almengor said...

I was just praying for you this a.m. If I see you at church, I'll bee line your way to give you a real live hug! :)

Zoanna said...

Thanks, Bri. I appreciate the prayers and have definitely felt them today.

Laurie Reyes said...

That was a roller coaster week, for sure. I wish i could do more than {{{hug}}} you from here. I can pray for you though, which is, I believe, the best kindness a friend can offer.

Joyce said...

I've been at my daughter's so am out of the blog loop. I will send you a virtual hug anyway because that's the best I can do : ) Hope things have improved dramatically!

Rachel Anne said...

I'm just now catching up from last week...I missed CG coffee with my husband trying to get ready to go out of town and that whole whirlwind. I'm so sorry that I did not stop in to give you a virtual hug....I'm hoping that this week has gone better?

Hang in there sweet friend. You are doing an amazing job being a wife, mom, organizer, giver, teacher, boo-boo have lots of grace, even when you don't see it yourself. Love you!

Kelly C said...

Lists like this don't get resolved overnight so I'm guessing prayers are still in order. I don't cry as much as I used to, but sometimes I wish I did because it was always a good physical release.

Zoanna said...

Kelly, thank you. You're right. Most of the tension has passed as far as the immediate things on that list. Some are ongoing. I wish I could cry, too, like I used to. Instead I bottle most of the grief or sadness up in my stomach or back. I need to give it to God, tears or no tears, and let him be my balm.