Sunday, December 21, 2008

Hmmm...what to do, what to do...

I feel like this hummingbird. (Sarah gave the feeder to me for my birthday in August. I LOVED the hummingbirds that fed on it, the little birdies no bigger than my thumb.)
I sit and say, "Hmmm. What to do? What to do? It's that time again. Time to figure out where to go and what to do." The occasion? Our anniversary. The perennial problem of choosing a destination for celebrating our marriage.
My Paul admits to being neither romantic nor creative in such ways (though he has pulled off a few delightful surprises in our nearly 22 years as husband and wife). I am the harder of the two of us to please, with my high ideals, so pity the guy who has the good fortune to plan memories for me! I've gotten better at lowering my expectations, but "anniversary" screams "expectations!" almost as loudly as Christmas does --and in our case, they're three days apart. If I'm plum out of creative energy by the 25th of December, let alone the 28th, imagine his pressure!
So, what do we like? What would make a good memory for us? Let me tell you a little about our "cherished preferences," as our pastor calls such things.

Paul likes: good food, good wine (though seldom pays for it with dinner; he'd rather buy a whole bottle and get 4 times the beverage from it, later, at home). He hates crowds. Conversation optional. He doesn't like B&Bs (says he doesn't like paying to feel like a guest in someone else's home). He doesn't mind a drive under an hour. Not crazy about the city since he's worked in it for 25 years. He prefers countryside, beaches, or mountains. Dressing up is okay. Won't pay to see a movie at the cinema unless it's highly recommended, but no rom-coms. (For him they're predictably dumb and he hates seeing lust portrayed as love. Good man.) He likes action films, but realizes they're a poor choice with me as his flick chick. Hates, hates, hates theatre.

I like: good food, good wine (with dinner, TYVM!), romantic settings (which, by my definition, includes soft candlelight, jazz music, live flowers, tender touches, exchanging glances across the table, glances just for me--sap, sap, sap! gag!--I'll stop. When I ask him to do that, he makes google eyes at me.) Crowds don't bother me (just no kids anywhere within earshot on our date night), music live or recorded makes no diff, no great walking distance, conversation mandatory. A little wrapped shiny thing in a box is especially hoped for, but not expected. I like B&Bs, but not with him, knowing he doesn't like them, so nix that idea. Love to dress up. I could do a 4-hour trip to West Virginia if weather's decent. (That's where we honeymooned.) I know it sounds redneck but you know the motto: West Virginia--almost heaven. I don't like to go to a movie on a date unless we've already had good conversation over dinner, because I feel it's a waste of time to sit next to each other paying to not talk. We like movies that show old people in love, where gnarled fingers interlock and crow's feet around the eyes means the elderly couple's been smiling at each other for 50 years, even though she may not recognize him any more. "The Notebook," for example. I love theatre. Who cares if it's predictable?

I'm burnt out on creativity this time of year and Paul admits to almost never being creative. So, anybody wanna help this old couple find a new thing to do on their anniversary? Perhaps you can "feed" this hummingbird some ideas?


Anonymous said...

Dinner Out- Somewhere nicer than the norm and somewhere that dressing up feels right (even if not required.)
Splurge on a glass of wine with dinner (Even one can share it!)
OR (this would be my preference)Find a nice place for youngest for the night(?)
Dinner Out as above
Bottle of Red Wine (Cabernet or Shiraz) at home
2 glasses
Sip slowly while watching
"Mrs. Palfrey at the Claremont".
We love this movie, but if you're like me, keep kleenex close. Mike says it sounds like something you'd like from what you've written and says it's one that would be worth owning. (No T.V., so we collect good movies.)
Okay. If you don't watch this for your anniversary, watch it soon!
I hear you wanting to be wined and dined and surprised with something shiny. I'm not sure what to say about the shiny thing. You may have to shop for yourself, get a good bargain sale,(keep the receipt for bargain proof! Of course shop within budget!) show hubby, wrap it up and let him "give it to you" on your date!
We have to help our non-romantic types!

Anonymous said...

I like your suggestions. Never heard of the movie, but I'll look it up, for sure. The shiny thing would put me over the moon, but only if he picked it out. What I really want is to wear my own wedding rings again--they've gotten too tight over the years. I wear my 10th anniversary diamond band exclusively, but want to put my original "1986ers" back on!

Anonymous said...

I remember going with my dad to Woolworth's when we were kids to help my dad pick out a ruby necklace for Mom. I thought my dad must have been the richest man and my mom the most loved woman! I can see your point of having him pick it out! (Would you settle for Dept. Store jewelry?)
I lost the micro-diamond from my wedding ring one Christmas while making sweet bread to give as gifts. I always wondered if it ended up in a loaf. It was probably too small to break a tooth on, so someone may have swallowed it then...?
Oh well. We were young and broke when we were married so that tiny diamond was so sweet and special.
I inherited my Grandma's engagement ring, (nothing flashy). She was from beautiful W. Virginia (married a Coal Miner) where my folks are from. They're some of the only ones who've moved from "Almost Heaven" Kansas! (I LOVE my home, Kansas, don't get me wrong!)Anytime we went for a visit, I could never understand why they'd wanted to leave. I digress from rings and shiny things, but you also mentioned WV, so thought I'd mention my folks' home place.
Anyway, my ring from husband has never been replaced. Love grew, but the diamond didn't!
Can you get your 86 ring resized?
(Mike and I married in 1980). Our 25th anniversary sort of came and went without much fanfare, but as I say, Mike may not be the "romantic type", but he is sweet, loving, serving and faithful and I wouldn't trade him for a diamond mine!

Kelly said...

Ask him to have your rings re-sized for your anniversary. That was one of my Christmas gifts last year, since I hadn't been able to wear them since 2002. That was my favorite gift, and makes the most sense financially, since you've got the rings but can't wear them!
Crackpot for dinner is pretty good, Ruth's Chris is awesome but VERY cha-ching!
For our last anniversary, we went mini-golfing, dinner at the Double T and B&N; the one before that, I was taking care of my post-op dad! Not always what we plan, but who we spend it with makes the difference...