Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Under Attack

Make no mistake. Scripture memory is a trumpet call to Satan's army to swing into battle. I have been under attack since January 1 when I started thinking about serious
memorizing. It was the number one reason that I was reluctant to start.

On the one hand, it's quite euphoric to know you're taking up arrows against him. On the other hand, it's no picnic to feel you're filleted like a piece of venison on the ground while hearing the whoosh of his arrows shooting back.

The typical areas where I'm vulnerable, where he heaps gobs of guilt on me are:

-my weight and failure to lose in the past few months, having come to a standstill and then putting some back on. I have been too ashamed to post pictures of myself.
-my relationships--I am hypersensitive to lies about being unlovable.
-my skills -- I suddenly feel I can't do anything worthwhile, not in my home, my school, my church, the world.

And I battle it with more scripture and then rejoice in the God of my salvation again.
He tells me He is for me, He loves me, that no matter what I hear, the truth is that some people love me and others even like me. And he reminds me that all I have , even skills, come from him, and that I need to be faithful with the number and kind He has allotted me.

I'm just sayin'.

The memorizing is going well, but I am feeling like shutting myself off from everyone when Satan flings his dung. So please pray.


Danielle said...

I'm sorry you're going through this spiritual struggle, but God will honor you as you soak yourself in his truth.

I too have started memorizing scripture again. Because I've been struggling with self-control and anger towards my kids when disobedient, I've been memorizing Hebrews 4:14-16. Just started this week!

I found this series on Memorizing the Word on Revive Our Hearts very motivating to memorize scripture. You may find it helpful too. Here's a link to the first episode.

Zoanna said...

Thanks, Danielle. I clicked over and read the whole thing. The lady memorized the whole book of James in 4 mos. Wow. That gives me hope for completing one chapter in a month .

I will pray for you as you commit to memorizing verses for your anger and self-control. I can sure relate to the need in those areas.

Laurie said...

I KNOW what you're talking about!
This song talks about where we'd be wise to dwell. Why don't we go there way more often?

I'm praying for you dear sister in Christ.