Thursday, July 22, 2010
How A Guy Wraps A Wedding Gift
You, the guy, pick from what's left of the couple's gift registry at the last possible moment. You think a wine rack is a cool gift, and it is. But your mom suggests putting three wine bottles with it so that it's "substantial."
You go buy the wine: a champagne, a red, and a white. You come home and box everything up.
Seal the box and ask Mom if you have to wrap it since it's for a guy. Mom says, "Yes, you have to wrap it. That guy will have a wife by the time he opens it."
You nicely ask Mom if she will wrap it and she says, "No, but I'll tell you where some paper is. You've got wrapping skills." You may have them, but you don't necessarily want to use them, at least not without eating first.
You wrap it in lime green paper from your sister's treasure trove of paper. Your mom is pretty proud of you, and so she whips out her camera. You shake your head and smirk. She is trying to keep things light so that she doesn't cry. She really wonders where time went that her son is now all grown up and buying wedding presents for his good friends' weddings and ushering their guests down the aisle. She is secretly glad she is not the mother of the groom yet.
Mom asks you if you'd like to put a bow on the gift and you say, "Nah, it's fine." And she says, "Do you think it's kind of plain?" And, being a guy, you repeat, "Nah, it's fine. But if you think it needs a bow, go ahead."
So she, being not a guy, but your mother who can't let a gift go unbowed, proceeds to make a "bow" out of a wine bottle opener. She says, "It's extra fun when your gift topper sort of hints at what's inside the box." And you humor her and say, "Yeh. Whatever."
Then you see her get out scrapbook paper, scissors, skinny ribbon, and stickers to make hang tags for the bride and groom's gift.
Experience tells you that now is your perfect opportunity to slip out of the room while Mom gets absorbed in her own little world; you have plenty of time to make early Fantasy Football draft picks.
In the back of your mind, though , you're fairly certain that *your* wrapped gift will show up on *her* blog.