I really want to know: is it just me being self-absorbed, or is face-to-face conversation over tea in someone's home a thing of the past? I'm not talking five-course meal type of hospitality. I'm asking: does non-email, non-cell, non-blog, non-phone, non-text, non-IM talk still matter? Does it still happen?
Lately I've been gathering a list in my head of "Favorite Things of 2007" and "Least Favorite Things" and "Regrets" and "Reminders" to post now so that when I look back in December, it won't be so hard to remember back to the pre-August stuff of life.
On my list of "Favorite Things" would have to be dinners in Russia at people's homes. It's the only time all year I've been invited to someone's home for a meal except by my parents, I think.
But when I examine the reverse, the only other people I've had for meals (besides the kids' friends and my extended family--and--oh, and the 'Welcome Home, Trip' Party), the only ones I can recall having over were foreigners. Much as I loved it, I keep thinking, "What's wrong with this picture?"
Shame on me for my laziness and selfishness. (It's not all me, my husband isn't usually motivated to do much but veg when he gets home from a stressful day at work, which has been a daily thing for two years. I have easily said, "Okay, he's tired. Don't bother," when really I should have been making more of an effort to boost Paul's spirits as well as extend hospitality to others. I have long had these great and grandiose plans of inviting a mix of Christians and not-yetters around a big, long table and serve it potluck style. Have I done it? No.
That's a major regret. If I only had over Christians, I would say, "Something's wrong with this picture." But I have sorely lacked in doing good even to the household of faith in this regard. How common is this kind of hospitality in the church? In your little corner of the world? When I was in my early 20s, a newlywed and young mom, it was a weekly thing or so to be in a friend's home for lunch.
I have visions of young women nowadays being in and out of each other's homes, changing kids' diapers and talking about life, love, and the pursuit of God over tuna sandwiches and chocolate cake. Is this your reality or a figment of my imagination?
4 comments:
I wonder if it goes along with seasons of your life...I don't sit for tea as often with my sisters/friends as I used to, but we do have people in for dinner AT LEAST once a week - sometimes several nights/week. It gets rather chaotic sometimes, but for the most part I wouldn't have it any other way. I admit with the same angst tho, that I too do not have unbelievers joining in the parade of people through my home...I've been thinking on/pondering how to change that; feel like as as stay home mom I don't even have connections to the 'real' world other than other moms from our church... This is something I'd like to be intentional about changing...
Funny that you wrote this today b/c I was just thinking I'd like to have someone over for dinner but told Lawrence, "I need to have someone who's 'easy', meaning I don't have to clean up my house and can ask them to bring a part of the meal." That's pretty much the hospitality we have these days w/ so many young kids under foot. Honestly, the easiest folks to have for hospitality for us this season are those in the exact same season as us b/c they're not in the least put off by the utter chaos of our home (and it is in a constant state of chaos here). So, that means we have the same folks over when we do extend hospitality. BUT, today I was actually kicking around the idea of inviting the Grigers AND one of our neighbors who we've been getting to know ever so casually b/c I, like so many others have a tendency to isolate myself to hanging out w/ my Christian buds only. It's a hard balance to strike and one that can only be done, I'm convinced, as each person is individually led by the Holy SPirit, wisely pursuing what God has put before them, fitting to each person's particular season.
I feel like we've been too social of late! It's like we're hungry for company after not being able to be hospitable for so many months of house construction! We've had couples (with and without kids), singles, and co-workers over every week the past month. I have another co-worker coming this Monday! Actually, I think I need a week where no one comes over! It's been great, though. I feel like I've been able to reconnect with old friends too.
I never grew up in a "neighborhood" so popping in and out of someone's home or going over unannounced is foreign to me. I'd never think of it. Also, in this season being on a schedule and making sure the boys get naps, and I get work done (balancing freelance work is tricky and I only can do it during naps) takes up a good bit of my day.
However, one thing I'd like to do is to get to know other mom's in my season by having someone over once a week, maybe starting in Sept. I'm not really good friends with many women who have kids, so I'd like to broaden that friendship base.
Okay, now I'm rambling.
As a single, I go to one of my married friend's homes almost 2 times a week sometimes more, sometimes less for dinner. Her husband loves it.
We make the dinner together, while he plays with the kids (or I help with the kids too if he has work to do) then we all eat dinner together and then her husband either plays with the kids or does some office work and we take turns cleaning up the dishes and around the house and watching the kids. Sometimes I help with bath time and sometimes they both do bath time.
I have jumped in and helped with giving the medicine because her one boy had poison ivy and would take his medicine better for me and I could calm him down. I would tuck him in and pray with him and then his parents would come and also tuck him in. They have three small children so having three people working to get the kids in bed works great.
Then it is fun adult time. All three of us eat some snack and watch a movie together. I only stay for movie nights about once every other week, I make sure I leave most nights early enough for them to have their alone time, but I am regularly included in movie night with them at their house and it is a lot of fun.
What is even more amazing is that my friend regularly has hospitality with other people weekly. They are very gifted in evangelism (the whole family is, including their 7 year old) and use hospitality to reach out to others.
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