Carolina Quiet Love

Walking under the moon at the edge of a Carolina tide,
We held hands but didn't talk, like a cake topper groom and bride.

Never again just us, just the two of us, it's been that way 19 years,
And though I love being Mother, it's multiplied my fears.

Our walk started on the beach, where teens were shooting rockets,
"Are those our kids being bad, taking fireworks out of their pockets?"

"No, " I told my honey, "they're illegal. Let's head the other way."
So we pivoted to the south, dodging shrapnel at the end of day.

Barefoot in the sand, I remembered the way we used to be,
Wide awake till nearly midnight, conversation flowing free.

I kept waiting for him to say something, I wanted a verbal blessing.
To pull me closer and say that on his heart something was pressing.

But he didn't. And I couldn't let the moment pass, being the nag-I mean, go-getter!
So I asked, "Is there something I could do to make our marriage better?"

Oh, boy. Hoof in Mouth Disease again I contracted. He didn't say a word.
"I guess if you said anything, it might be what I wish I hadn't heard?"

He smiled as if to say, "Let's not ruin the occasion, it's just us and the moon,
and the waves and the sand. Vacation will end all too soon."

We reached a place where I wanted to rest, so climbed on the lifeguard stand.
Sat there on my lofty perch, and let go of my lover's hand.

"What's happened to us? What's wrong with me?" Thoughts lapped into my mind.
Why do I hold my wants in such high regard? I wish I weren't the romantic kind!

I really shouldn't dwell on negatives, but speak truth to my soul,
He loves me, provides stuff for me, ultimately seeks the same goal.

We turned back to the north, and walked toward the dunes
Tonight I'd pretend that my heart still played "our tunes."

When we reached the deck that formed a pool-surround,
He surprised me just a little, and turned two comfy chairs around.

Side by side he placed them, facing the foaming sea.
Took my hand in his again, and placed it on his knee.

"What's on your mind?" I asked. (Why can't I just be quiet?)
"Nothing. Just sleepy," he said, welcoming the night.

I paused and after a moment said, "This is the part where
he says something tender to her, to show his loving care."

"I love you," he mumbled, rather perfunctorily, with a knowing grin.
"I love you, too," I said, and played the old "give up, give in."

We held hands a little longer and then he made a move.
Pulled me very close and kissed me slowly, as if to prove
that though he doesn't have the words right now that my soul yearns to hear,
He loves me with a silent tenderness, and loves me more each year.