Parting Company in Many Ways

It's been a terrible time for me emotionally lately. Suffice it to say I am dealing with death and loss on several fronts.

• One friend's mom died Wednesday, another Saturday. Viewings and funerals, florists and food prep, have dotted my calendar and made me ponder again the vaporous quality of life.





• I had a breakdown yesterday between grief, fatigue, my own very ugly and constant sin and grave sense of failure, and fighting with my family two hours before we were supposed to have friends over last night, one local and one from NC who's been visiting Sacha. (Kristin went on the missions trip with us.) I ended up cancelling with Sacha and Kristin, even with my table set and some Russian nesting dolls lined up as a reminiscent centerpiece. The family was feuding so much I asked Ben's football friends to leave.





• I will be trying to break free from computer bondage and die to myself that way. Not sure how long it'll take, but I will take a blogging break at the very least; have to keep email up-- it's the only way some people communicate. I'll be taking more initiative to reestablish good communication with my family.





• Death to old habits in other areas that need new life: my physical body, my house, my prayer time, my lifelong goals.

That's what's going on here in a nutshell. (I am the nut; the house is my shell. Both need prayer!)

So, if I don't comment on your blog for awhile, it's because God is winning here. As Dave Harvey said yesterday from the pulpit, "This is Only a Test." The design is wonderful, but the process is hot, stinky, and painful.

Farewell for a while, friends.