Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Have You Seen the Nail Clippers?

For Amy and Jessi, I now present with regal unveiling, this magnum opus.

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Have you seen the nail clippers?
She asked me before looking.
"Did you check the junk drawer in the kitchen?
I used them there while cooking.

"They aren't there,
so where else could they be?"
"The last place someone had them,"
I say obnoxiously.

Maybe on the school shelf
Between the scissors and tape,
Or in the refrigerator
Beside a rotten grape.

How about in the garage
Under the box of weed killer?
Or ask your Dad if he used them
To fix the roto-tiller?

I bet they're in my brown purse
Or in the console of the van.
I clipped my nails at a red light
And got a mean look from Policeman.

The nail clippers might be up
Near your brother's drums
Those cymbals, snares, and sticks, you know,
Can break the nails off thumbs.

If you're still baffled--
As confused as can be--
Try looking on the piano
Just left of middle C.

"Not there," you say? How odd!
(Since "c" stands for clippers.)
Maybe they're with my sewing stuff
Along with ten-inch zippers.

"I give up! I'm stumped!
They're nowhere to be seen!
Guess I'll try the last resort--
In 'cosmetics' at Walgreen's!"

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Hilarious!!
Such talent!!!
Betty G

Anonymous said...

oh heavens!

Jessi said...

You're a regular Dr. Seuss!! :)

Anonymous said...

Jessi, he was my inspiration. Blame it on him; I do!

Sarah said...

I love your poems. This is very funny. I have to admit, we probably have ten pairs of nail clippers around here somewhere....