Things My Mother Taught Me

My mother is a really good teacher. I've been meaning to write about her for quite a while. She's been my #1 inspiration. Lately I've been pondering all the things I do that she taught me. (Some I'm still learning, but she hasn't given up!)

Here is a list, in no particular order.

1. Make do. We never had money to spare, but Mama has always been creative with resources. She doesn't buy poor quality on the cheap; she buys the best she can afford, but isn't at all a shopaholic. Her stuff lasts a long time.

2. Preserve your lettuce. Unwrap it, then drop it hard onto the counter. If the core doesn't separate from it, bang it against the counter. The idea is to get that sucker apart from the leaves, keeping the head intact. (Maybe this is another way of saying, "Keep your head about you"?)

3. When you write, be yourself. Don't try to sound like someone else. I clearly remember entering an essay contest for the Daughters of the American Revolution in fifth grade. I was writing on the Battle of Trenton. Researched it well (back in the day of the printed encyclopedia) but I tried to make my essay sound like the article in World Book. My mom said, "You're trying too hard." She encouraged me to put what I knew into my own words. She also taught me how to consolidate many small words into one bigger one and use it naturally. (She is still trying to get me to reduce the total number of words I use, as is my husband, my kids, my best friend...).
I won the essay contest and got my picture in the local paper. It was the the start of a lovelife with writing.

4. Use good manners. "Please" and "thank you" go a long way with everyone. Don't interrupt. If you must, place a hand on the speaker's arm and wait to be acknowledged.

5. Minister to the poor and needy. That was it. I didn't hear the corollaries such as "and you'll feel good about it" or "it will come back to you" or "because you never know when you'll need the same kind of help." She didn't quote scripture about "casting your bread upon the waters and in many days it will come back to you." It was never about rewards. It was about loving your neighbor. Mama and Daddy lived (and still do live) generously. Mama taught two somewhat mentally retarded teenaged sisters from our church how to clean a house. It was our house, and she paid them. Those girls couldn't have gotten a better arrangement: learn a skill and get paid for it by someone who loves you.

6. Read your Bible first thing every day. My sweetest memory is of shuffling out toward the kitchen for a bowl of cereal on school days. Mama was in the adjacent living room, rocking in the harvest gold rocker, her Bible open in her lap. (I should've put this at the top, not four doors down from "preserve your lettuce." But then again, I've never been as organized as she.)

7. Set a table properly and nicely. She first taught us when we were about three years old. She used a wood puzzle with four simple pieces: fork, plate, knife, spoon. She always tried to teach us the "why" behind the "how" so that in case we forgot "how" we could figure it out with the "why."

The fork goes to the left of the plate. Why? Because it does. No seriously, I forget why, it's just the way it is. I've taught my kids that "fork" has four letters, and so does "left." Only the fork goes on the left.

The knife goes immediately to the right of the plate, sharp side facing plate. Why? So it doesn't cut the user when they reach for it.

Spoon goes next to that. Why? Cuz it's the only one left, and you always say "knife and spoon" together.

Drinking glass goes at the top of the knife. Why? Because almost everyone is righthanded. Good manners mean one should put down her fork or spoon before lifting a glass.

Every plate should be equidistant from the edge of the table. Use your finger. Place first knuckle on the edge of table, and place plate just above your fingertip. Works every time.

8. Say "yes" to your children as often as possible. I would have to say this built in me more confidence in God than anything else growing up. My parents gave us the confidence to ask them things (for advice,for help, for money) by usually saying "yes" or at least "we'll see." Their first response was not "no" so we didn't feel pessimistic. Lest you think we were spoiled brats, quite the opposite is true. (Only my baby sister born 14 years after me can say that!)
For example, "Mama, may I please go with the youth group to Pizza Hut after chuch Sunday night?" "Yes, if your room is clean by Friday night and stays that way." Or, "Mama, may I go on the ski trip with Campus Life in December?" "Most likely yes. We'll have to talk about it and you'll probably have to pay at least half."

9. Use clinical terms when talking about the anatomy. Okay, so I don't use these with my little kids. I should. I just hate the "v" word and the "p" word. I can handle words like
patella, quadriceps, and larynx.

10. Don't marry a show-off. I didn't. (My husband did.)
----------------------------
Thanks, Mama. That's only a list of ten, and I have so much more to share! But I shall revisit the words in red on #3 in hopes of making my point.