Thursday, April 08, 2010

Open Rebuke or Hidden Love?

This morning I read Proverbs 27. A number of the verses grabbed my attention, but this one must've been the one I needed.

Proverbs 27: 5 "Better is open rebuke than hidden love." I would have to say that the number of times I've been openly rebuked as opposed to how much "hidden love" I can only surmise, probably says more about me than it does of those who have "hidden."

Sure, family members do it regularly here. Probably in your house, too. But really, who is courageous enough to openly rebuke a friend?

How often have you not rebuked someone who was:

-speaking unkindly to her children
-joking about her rebellion
-undermining authority
-gossiping
-talking too much, dominating the "floor" in a group setting
-immodestly dressed
-making fun of someone
-wasting time
-not tithing regularly
-using God's name in vain
-not being reliable
-ignoring her children
-flirting with a man other than her husband
-being deceitful
-drawing a lot of attention to herself with words, laughs, pictures, or gestures
-making excuses for not regularly communing with God (if she's a Christian)

(I say she, because I think 99.9% of my readers are female,)

Just recently I've wanted to say things--openly rebuke someone in love--but have not. Why go along with what's wrong? Why so fearful? I am convinced that I don't truly, truly love most of the people I call "friends." I'm hiding behind wanting to be liked and not wanting them to dismiss my rebuke just because I have sins of my own. Scripture doesn't command us to correct one in another in love only after we're perfect (which, last time I checked, means we'd all be in heaven together).

Most of the time I am guilty of saying the wrong things and regretting it. But this verse has got me thinking: how much I withhold. When was the last time I gave or received an open rebuke? If love is hidden, is it love at all? Who are my "friends"? Who are yours?

1 comment:

Laurie said...

Okay, Zoanna, Let me hear it.
(But just please e-mail me instead of open rebuke? I'm too sensitive and proud. I'm rebuking myself here.)
Wow. Rebuke is scary truth, but I so agree that it can be done in love and for good, but honestly with fear and trembling for the outcome. We are such sensitive women! Oh to love more fully and freely.