Thursday, October 29, 2009

Note of Grace, part 1

God met me today in the pit. I had sunk to a new low in my feelings, discouraged and nearly at the brink of giving up the weight loss. I had convinced myself that I am doomed to be fat the rest of my natural life, and that God gave me talents somewhere other than as a longterm "loser" and that, in the whole scheme of things, the size I am is better than it was six months ago, so just be thankful for that...and just maintain status quo, if God wanted you to be slim, He'd make this a lot easier, blah, blah, blah .

Well, at first I thought I was the only one talking to myself. But then, I thought, "No! This doesn't sound like what I've been saying to myself since April. This is defeating and I've got to hang on to truth. I CAN lose weight. By God's grace, I can!"

I knew those other words were lies from the enemy, the way he counterfeits truth by throwing in just enough Christianese to keep us Christians from immediately recognizing what's happening. I'm talking about lies such as "just be thankful" (as if thankfulness and perseverence are mutually exclusive) and thoughts such as "if it's too hard, it can't be of God. God's all about gentleness and ease." Wait, since when is gentleness synonymous with ease? Oh, Satan's subleties.

I remembered the note I had put in a student's mailbox yesterday. "I see that you are persevering with God's help. Thank you." And then it was as if God was putting a note of grace into my thoughts, my mental mailbox. "Perseverence is not just for them," He wrote.


Amy said...

so glad you recognized the lies! praise God for meeting you in the pit! keep on persevering, CAN do it.

Laurie said...

I love how God meets us in the pit, speaks words of Truth to us and rescues us.
"Let all who seek You rejoice and be glad in You;
Let those who love Your salvation say continually,
“The LORD be magnified!”
Psalm 40:16

Rachelle said...

This is good. I admit that I have equated the idea of God's sovereign "open door" in my life with ease. However, I am learning that just becuase God says, "do it." doesn't mean it will be easy...this where the rubber really meets the road, huh?

I am proud of you! This transformation is so much deeper than weight loss for you, it is really a journey of spiritual transformation. How wonderful!