Note of Grace, part 1

God met me today in the pit. I had sunk to a new low in my feelings, discouraged and nearly at the brink of giving up the weight loss. I had convinced myself that I am doomed to be fat the rest of my natural life, and that God gave me talents somewhere other than as a longterm "loser" and that, in the whole scheme of things, the size I am is better than it was six months ago, so just be thankful for that...and just maintain status quo, if God wanted you to be slim, He'd make this a lot easier, blah, blah, blah .


Well, at first I thought I was the only one talking to myself. But then, I thought, "No! This doesn't sound like what I've been saying to myself since April. This is defeating and I've got to hang on to truth. I CAN lose weight. By God's grace, I can!"

I knew those other words were lies from the enemy, the way he counterfeits truth by throwing in just enough Christianese to keep us Christians from immediately recognizing what's happening. I'm talking about lies such as "just be thankful" (as if thankfulness and perseverence are mutually exclusive) and thoughts such as "if it's too hard, it can't be of God. God's all about gentleness and ease." Wait, since when is gentleness synonymous with ease? Oh, Satan's subleties.

I remembered the note I had put in a student's mailbox yesterday. "I see that you are persevering with God's help. Thank you." And then it was as if God was putting a note of grace into my thoughts, my mental mailbox. "Perseverence is not just for them," He wrote.